February the Twenty Fifth 2014.

Secret Desires and Dreams.

I have a confession.  One of the things I want out of life, in fact the most important thing I want to receive in this life, is a family.  Not like a mother, or father, or brother.  I already have those.  I'm talking about starting my own family.  Having children of my own.  

I know this may not surprise many people, as a female it's ingrained in us, even in today's society where women's roles are so much more than just staying home and looking after the house, that becoming a mother and having our own family is basically end goal.  

But it was never like that for me, my parents lived forty years never wanting to have a family, or giving up the idea of having a family of their own.  Because of this, and the lessons I was taught as a child I grew up knowing that my 'end goal' would be something bigger, something more than just having a family.  And, yeah, whatever, if I had kids along the way that was great.  So unlike many other girls who have this desire, mine wasn't centered from childhood influences.  I don't even know specifically when I realized that I wanted a family of my own so much.  After all I am only 17 years old, and I shouldn't be thinking about things like this yet, because rationally speaking it's a far off event for me.  

But somehow it has become one of my biggest secret desires.  

If I told my friends that I wanted to be a mother I get the distinct feeling they would scoff and say that I'd be a terrible mother.  Not because I'm abusive or anything, but simply because I tend to forget to feed my pets, myself, I'm not good at organizing myself, and I'm immature.  But what I think they fail to see is that I am naturally very maternal.  I mother and smother them.  Whether they know it or not.  In my mind when I hear them say they're going to parties I go into 'mama bear' mode and I start telling them to be careful, to not do this, or that.  When they're upset or panicking I try and talk them through it, I try and help them.  Not because I want to, frankly interfering with such things is so bad for my own anxiety.  But because NOT helping them out of it feels so wrong and if I didn't I would feel like I was failing them.  This is all just instinctual.  And I know that this is ingrained in most women.  Probably something to do with our hormones.  Not sure.  But the fact of the matter is that my personal 'end goal' isn't to become an author, to travel the world, to make a difference in the world.  It's to have children of my own.. And furthermore I don't want to wait until I'm in my late thirties to have them.  

I don't want them growing up fearing that their mother, or father, won't be there for them.  That their father won't be there to give them away.  That their mother won't be there to help with their first child.  I wouldn't want them to have the same fears I have with my parents.  My parents turn 60 this year.  I'm only 18 this year, and the possibility that my dad won't walk me down the aisle, or that I won't have my mother there to help me through my first pregnancy scares the hell out of me. Not because I need them there, but because if they aren't, that means they're dead and that they missed out on being parent's-in-law, and grandparents.  They are old, not matter what I say to them and these possibilities scare the shit out of me.  I don't want my children to have those fears.  I want to have them in my early to mid twenties.  I want them to know that I'll be there for them throughout their whole life.  I want to be alive to see them have children of their own.  And if God allows, to see my grandchildren have children.    I know that this probably won't happen, especially given that I don't want to have sex until marriage and I'm not exactly dating anyone, and in all honesty I don't think I will until God tells me it's the right time.  That the person before me is the one I will spend the rest of my life with.  

So basically my secret desire is to get married fairly young and have children in my twenties.  To have family of my own.  A place of my own.  I get the feeling that many people will read this and think 'that's what everyone wants' but I don't know.  I feel like my desire for this, this life, is more than just desire.  It's what is meant to be, that I was made to be a mother.  That it's part of my destiny.  And I am becoming a big believer in destiny, although I think I always was.  I'm just coming to understand it better now.  

This is all not to say that I don't want to achieve other things in my life.  Women have so many opportunities now, and just because I become a mother doesn't mean that I have to give up all the other possibilities.  I still want to travel, and write for the pleasure of others and to have a voice that is heard.  And I can still do those things if I become a mother.  It's just that, becoming a mother is the biggest goal of mine.  I want to be there for a child from day one, I want to hold that baby, the one that myself and my husband created, I want to cherish every moment and watch he or she grow and develop and eventually become a young adult who has their own views and opinions.  There is so much beauty in watching a child grow, visibly seeing that, documenting that.  I want that.  I want to be there for my son or daughter through scratches, bruises, broken hearts, bad grades, lost friends, hard lessons.  It's just something I feel, in the deepest parts of my soul, that I was made to do.  

Also, I think that maybe my desire to have a family young is so that my parents will still be alive to see me married, and the see their grand children.  I know that 60 isn't that old.. But when I'm twenty they'll be 62.  When I'm thirty they'll be 72.  When I'm 40 they'll be 82.  When I'm 50, they'll be 92.  And they both have health issues so I have no idea how long I have left with them.  That scares me but I've grown up with only one grandparent and she hates me and I missed out on so much because my grandparents weren't there throughout my childhood, and I don't want my children to miss out on all that.  

Also on a similar note: I'm a sentimental, control freak, who both smothers and mothers her friends, is slightly possessive, can be caring and strong when needed, and can be a huge bitch is you ever cross me and mine.  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.  

Becca.

February - March To-Do List 2014.

Topics I Want To Discuss In The Future.

• The Improbability Of Infinity. 
• Albert Einstein and his Philosophies. 
• Isaac Newton - "Objects at rest will stay at rest, and objects in motion will stay in motion." 
• My theories and thoughts on destiny.
• My thoughts on today's schooling system.
• My thoughts on homosexuality and gay marriage rights.  
• My obsession with interior design, decorating, and organizing.  
• My views on abstinence. 
• My increased organisation and communication with school work and teachers this year. 
• My honest aspirations and goals.
• Enlightening Quotes to live by.
• My Future Children. 

February the Twenty Fourth 2014.

Busy Reading, But I Did Blog Today.  TA-DA!  So No Broken Promise.  Woo.

Becca.

February the Twenty Third 2014.

MIA, Cheezles, and Something Else I'll Think Of To Post.

MIA:

Firstly for those of you who are uneducated M.I.A stands for Missing In Action.  In this situation I mean I haven't been very active in my posts.  So sorry about that.  

The reason is, and I feel like I'm making excuses because that's what I do but this is genuine, for the past two or three days I've has really bad headaches.  Not to the point of nausea but I've had so many pain tablets and drunk so much water, it's crazy... Anyway, and the headaches have just made thinking enough to write a long post very difficult because my head would start thumping and I would just have to close my eyes and get a damp cloth for my forehead to relieve the pain slightly.  So yeah, that's been happening.  Thankfully my headache has, for the most part, been absent today.  Which I am very thankful for.  This may be TMI but I also think when my period is coming to an end I get regular headaches?  Mother mentioned that for my last three periods when thy're ending that she noticed I've had bad headaches, so maybe that's the cause?  Or staring a a computer screen too long?

Cheezles: 

Do you ever just get down right ridiculous cravings?  I do. Might be a female thing?  Never heard a guy say he's craving something but that may just be because guys don't outright say it or something?  Anyway, so a few hours ago I saw Cheezles, or like ring versions of Cheetos or whatever they are in countries other than Australia.  Anyway, ever since I'VE REALLY WANTED SOME!  I mean, I'm like in a constant state of wanting Cheezles... But I was, and still am, craving them.  I actually got out of bed to go and ask Father to drive me down to Coles to let me go in and buy some.  Clearly he said no and Mother has been drinking so I didn't even bother asking her.  I asked Leprechaun and he informed me that he had one Cheezle and that he was going to eat it and not go and get me some.  So that was rude. Anyway.  So I want Cheezles.  Mother said that when I'm older and pregnant that Cheezles will either be my biggest craving or the food I avoid the most.  Which both excited and horrified me.  

Other Random Stuff That I Am Going To Discuss:

So I've been listening to songs by Within Temptation and Landon Austin lately.  Really loving All I Need by Within Temptation and Superhero by Landon Austin and Luke Conrad.  I just really like them.  The styles are so different it's actually funny though.  Also I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest lately.  I've pinned so much stuff!  I've been adding stuff to my food and wedding boards mostly this weekend which is great.  I really love how you can plan things on there and create different boards to accommodate what you want to do.  It's just such a versatile website! 

I've sort of neglected my homework this weekend.  I had to write two pages about a poet and some of her poems and what I liked and didn't like and thought worked and so on, and I didn't do that.  I'm going to do it during my free tomorrow.  I would do it in the morning, but I missed my chance on re-painting my nails today and they're really bad at the moment so I'm going to have to do that tomorrow so they don't get the chance to break throughout the day.  My nails are really weak, I'm pretty sure drinking milk is supposed to help but I like my milk hot and with chocolate and I prefer to buy it and I just never have money and cold milk sometimes makes me feel ill so not sure how I'm going to get more milk into me, if milk even helps with nails strength?  It helps with teeth, bones, and stuff?  Nails are bone, aren't they?  Or are they just tougher skin?  Like what even?  Anyway, I also was supposed to work on my poem for English Writing today but we had a guest over for lunch and I just totally blanked.. Oh yeah, my parents have volunteered to host a Sunday lunch every fortnight for people who go to their church that don't have much family.  Actually a really sweet idea.  Anyway, I also had an article that I wanted to perfect and I was going to start reading a book for school but after reading the first page I put it down because either it wasn't interesting enough or the fact that it's required for school, and when it's required for school I always have trouble reading them.  Also it's a book set in Australia and written by and Aussie author and I kind of hate most books set in Australia.  No idea why.  I just really hate them?  Furthermore it's about Aboriginal people and, even though I have met some lovely Aboriginal people, a majority of them that I have met are rude, vile, and when I was in WA they mostly tried to feel me up when they saw I was alone.  So I don't have great experiences with them, makes feeling compassionate to them in these novels harder....  As I said, I know some really lovely Aboriginal people, this was just the majority from where I lived.  And from what my Mother has told me it's the dame in Melbourne and Sydney.  So that's very disappointing.  Anyway, I better get to bed early.  Although I'm already in bed?  Not the point, I should try to go to sleep early.  I need to wake up early, shave, do my nails, make-up, hair, buy some Cheezles and vanilla coke, get to school in time for 10:25.  That doesn't sound like a lot given that i wake up around 6:45, but I procrastinate A LOT in between tasks.  So yeah, better crash.  

Night guys, I prey that you all have sweet dreams.  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Twenty-Second 2014.

Headache, Pinterest, and The Vampire Diaries.

I've had a massive headache the past few days and I still have it so lets keep this short.

I've been obsessed with Pinterest lately.  I highly suggest it to everyone.

I've been obsessed with The Vampire Diaries even though I've only ever watch episode one.  I've been watching the little 'clips' on YouTube and it looks so good but honestly I don't think I would actually like it...

Also, I watched the first episode of Star-Crossed from the CW network, it's a new teen drama but it's about aliens and it looks like it's going to be really good.  Only the first episode has aired so not long catch-ups.   Go watch it, check it out.  It's so worth it, I wasn't sure at first but I'm convinced.  It's going to be good!

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

February the Twenty First 2014.

Nodding Off.

Sorry, no post again today.  I'm tired, feeling icky, and don't want to write at the moment. 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Twentieth 2014. (Personal)

PERSONAL:  My Prayers.  

*DISCLAIMER:  This post isn't actually for anyone to read, this blog is my diary and these are thoughts I wanted to write out.  I don't actually want anyone to read them.  So please ignore this post. *

Dear Lord,

I come to you today as your loyal servant, as your child, as one of your disciples.  I come to you because I love you, I believe in you, and I trust in you, but I have no idea how deep that all runs.  I don't know if I believe that because it was what I was taught or if it's what I learnt by myself.  I know you exist, I know angels exist and I know miracles are true.  These are things I know.  But Lord, I don't understand any of it.  I come to you for guidance, for understanding. I'm writing this down because I feel I best express my emotions and what I'm trying to say, when I say it here.  I'm not writing this for the benefit of others, or to force your way upon them.  I'm writing it here because this is something I want a record of, something I want to be able to look back at.  Back to my prayer, Lord, my whole family has come to let in your love, they speak to you in tongues and understand so much more than I fear I'm capable of.  I don't think I have the capability of understanding your words, and what it all means by myself, I need a guide, a mentor.  Someone to help me find my way, find my way to you Lord.  I recognize that I haven't 'accepted you' the same way my parents and brother have.  Lord, I don't understand how to give you my life, I don't know how I'm supposed to do that.  I know if I went to church I would probably find out, or I could ask, but Lord that environment scares me.  Being around so many people that prefer to speak than observe terrifies me.  Lord, I know that I have to put in the effort to come to understand The Bible, and I know that it takes commitment for one to hand their life over, even though I believe my life is already in your hands, and I know that I haven't taken the initiative to take the steps to find my way or to receive guidance from someone.  I know these things, and I know a lot of my fears and my procrastination can be solved just by putting myself in the right frame of mind, but my frame of mind changes so often I don't even know how to control that to be able to take charge of my life.

Lord, I know what's to come.  I know that The End Times are coming and that you will return and that the true believers will receive Rapture.  I know that what proceeds this is the Seven Years Of Tribulation.  I know that more Jewish people will die in this upcoming war than that of the Holocaust because they will be blamed.  I know and I think I understand this Lord, and I know that I don't want to be here when it happens.  I know it could happen in 50 years, or it could happen in 3 months.  I know time isn't something we have much of.  But the truth is I don't know these things, this is what I've been told and taught and I don't know any different.  But I believe it's true.  I believe you will be coming back soon Lord, and I believe that, although I am a little late, I need to find my way to you before it's too late.  As a child I didn't understand that I had to find you on my own, I thought that if I just.. I don't know.. I just thought because I was covered as a child I would be my entire life and I wouldn't have to put in an effort.  I know that sounds silly, but I didn't understand.  But I get it now.  I get that to be saved, to be covered by your love and guidance that I have to be independent, that I have to put in the initiative to come to you, to understand what's to come.  But even knowing that Lord, I know me.  I know that this thought, this desire to be.... To be yours, might go away and be replaced with my mindless obsessing with fictional characters, or celebrities.  Silly things and idols that don't actually hold much importance to me, mindless things that occupy my thoughts when you could be occupying them.  I know that this will likely happen, and that I'm just like this now because of what mum was telling me earlier.  But I don't want that to be the case.  I want to find you.  I want to be able to spread the majesty of you love to tell my friends about your greatness.  I want to be able to help them see the light and come to find you Lord.

I have no idea what I've said, but I know you understand what I need.  And I know that what I think I need and what you know I need are probably different, and that's why I want you to guide me.  Guide me to the right path.  To my destiny.  I don't know if I'm meant to be taken with the true believers when the time comes, I don't know what tasks you have set for me and what you want me to achieve.  Only you know that.  And I trust you.  I still don't know what I'm saying.  Lord, I would like to be able to help my friends.  I would like to be able to save them when the time comes.  They're both broken, and they've both made mistakes and still are making them, and I fear for their souls.  I know I can't push something onto them, I can't change who they are, but Lord I just know that if they came to see your wonder they would start to heal.  Their wounds would bind together and they would become stronger.  But I know they won't accept you until the time is right, and Lord I don't know why but I feel like I am the person that's supposed to bring them to you.  This sounds so silly..

Lord, I come to you today, as you servant, your child, and your disciple.  I come to you begging for guidance, for help.  I know I have a destiny, my mother knows I have a destiny, I know I have Sight and that mum took it away.  I know that there is a role I am to play and I don't know how to make the first move



Lord,

I come to you today as your child, your servant, and as your disciple.  I wrote a prayer before this where I asked for guidance to find you.  But I think I'm just starting to realize that I have already found you and that I just need to make the first steps to joining you.  I know and recognize that you are the one true Messiah and that your love is almighty and powerful, that you died for our sins and that you will come back.  Soon.  I trust in you Lord when I say I put my life in your hands, I mean it.  I am your pawn for whatever is to come.  Use me, my destiny is written by you and I know you will help me find that.  I know that whatever is to come you will be by my side.  Lord I admit I do doubt sometimes, I don't know why?  Even when I doubt I know that you are real, and when I doubt and can't even explain what it is that I'm doubting.  I've seen things that make it hard to even think about doubting you, so I suppose that maybe it's the Devil playing tricks with my mind.  Trying to sway me.  Lord I don't know why but I feel, I feel it so strongly, that I have an important role.  But I feel like I need an understanding, and understanding of you and your word, before I am allowed to take these first steps.  And Lord, I want to understand, at least I think I want to.  I have the desire to know.  But I don't think I'm capable of taking the initiative to learn that by myself, and Lord I know you already know this but I just don't think I could go to church to understand this.  I don't feel safe or comfortable in church environments.  I don't like how the people talk instead of observe, how they talk mindlessly about nothing of importance and.. I don't know.. I can't explain it.  Lord I'm crying.  I've been crying this whole time because even though I've found you I don't know how to get to you.
Lord,

I come to You now, your child, your servant, your disciple.  I come to You seeking guidance.  Lord I've essentially been preying all afternoon.  I've written this almost four times now just trying to word it right.  I know that how I word this doesn't matter, that You already know, that You probably knew before I did.  I come to You today asking for guidance on my path to not only find, but also accept Your righteousness.  I have believed in You my whole life, my Sight as a child allowed me to see part of Your world, and I know You are real.  or at least I think in my heart of hearts I know You are real.  And I know I sometimes pointlessly doubt, and I think that it's not because I doubt You but because the Devil is playing tricks with my mind, because I have no reason to doubt your existence.  But I know that believing in you and following you are two different things, and that I would like to do both.  I would like to follow my parents, and brothers, footsteps and invite you into my heart.

Oh gosh I don't know what I'm saying Lord.

I want to be with you Lord, I want to be your disciple, I want to help others, I don't know what I want.

I want what my parents have.

I want you.

Amen.

February the Nineteenth 2014.

Blogging In The Morning:

I'm really just not feeling it today, I feel crap.  My jaw is killing me, no idea why.  Might have something to do with fudge?  I feel antisocial and crabby.  I sort of want to bitch at everyone I come in contact with.  So that's great.  I don't want to go to school, I mean, I'll have a different outlook once I'm there.  But in my own heart and mind I'll just want to be back in bed sleeping and not feeling any of it.  I don't get cramps like other girls during this point in the month.  I sometimes do, but not often.  So It's not cramps that are making me feel shit.  It's just, I'm not sure if bloated is the right word? Either which way.  I'm not keen for today.

Blogging At Night:

So today wasn't too bad, I was more bitchy than normal to be honest.. Re-read Walking Disaster by Jamie McGuire and fell in love with Travis Maddox all over again! Cookie is currently reading Beautiful Disaster which is the first book in the series and is in the female protagonists point of view (the second novel is in the male protagonists POV) so we've been sort of fangirling together.. Some of the texts I've sent her this afternoon include:

B: "Mmmm Travis Maddox is such a babe!  I prefer reading in his POV and its all so.... Asdfghjkl!!! Just so damn hot and swoon worthy!"

B: "I seriously want a Travis Maddox.  Or any of the Maddox brothers to be honest."

C: "I agree :)"

B: " I know :)"

B: "But damn.  I feel like I want to say 'yum' but that's slightly out of character for me."

C: "No it's not Monster :)"

B: "Then YUM !!! ;)"

C: "Yes he is :) xxx"

B: "I'm like all smiley and giggly and ehh because he is so fricking hot...... :) xxx"

B: "Ehhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Sa caute!!!!! Me wanty my own Maddox!!! Now!"

So that's how my afternoon transpired.  I have a hair cut appointment tomorrow around ten then my classes start around 10:30, so that's going to be a bit of a rush.  I'm not really looking forward to school tomorrow.  I just sort of want to sleep.  I think I'm over that positive about this school year phase.   Anyway,  Travis Maddox is a total babe!  I highly recommend both books!  Like, go read them.. Now! It's sort of late and I'm not planning on writing a big post so I'm just going to leave this hear and try and fall asleep early.  Also, I missed dinner again and my right side jaw hurts when I move it and one of the brackets on my braces on the left side feels like it's had the wire come out, but it hasn't.  So basically nothing is wrong with it, it just hurts like a bullet wound to some unimportant body part.  Probably somewhere with a lot of fat?  No idea.  Whatever, just go with it, it didn't make any sense to say it hurt like a bitch?  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

TOPIC OPEN FOR DISCUSSION

SEND IN ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THE FOLLOWING TOPIC.  AND IF YOU HAVE THEM, STORIES TOO.  YOU CAN REMAIN ANONYMOUS. 

Send them to me at: thetroublesandwoesofabookworm@gmail.com

Okay, so the topic I want to discuss is Abstinence In Youth.  Send in your stories either pro or con.  Your opinions, no matter what they are, your thoughts, whatever.  It doesn't matter you age, gender, or if you're a virgin or not.  Just send it all in.  I want your input.  

(Please title all e-mails as Abstinence In Youth and at the end of the e-mail declare whether you would like to remain anonymous, use a fake name or go by your real name.  I will be publishing this piece here [on my blog] and using it in my Journalism class.) 

Please contribute, you don't have to but it would really be appreciated.  

Becca.

February the Eighteenth 2014.

Birthdays.

Hey guys,

now I don't know about you but I'm crap at buying birthday presents for people.  Christmas, and Mothers Day, and Fathers Day, and Valentines, and whatever, are all easy because the stores sell stuff for you to give that are season specific.  But birthdays occur all over the place and when they're close friends you feel you're expected to really put in a lot of effort.  But it's hard to get meaningful gifts when you're in your teens.  You're goring through different phases and you tend not to be very open with those close to you so it's hard to know if you're choosing the right gifts.  Like currently, I had no idea what to get Cookie for her 18th birthday that's coming up.  I managed to get three or four items together that I think are appropriate for such an event but I honestly had no idea.  The thoughts going through my head when I was brainstorming ideas (and yes I brainstorm gift ideas) were along the lines of "Do I get her a 18th specific present, like a champagne glass with a glittery 18 and butterfly on it?"  and "Should I get her something sentimental, something she can pass on to her children when she has them?" all the way to "Should I just get her food?  Everyone loves food?".  I had no idea what to get her, I decided to go with my gut and take the sentimental route.  I am a very sentimental person and I believe that on special birthdays that mark the beginning of a period (16 -proper teenage years, 18- legally an adult, 21- can drink in US and UK, 50, etc.) you should just receive bits and bobs you should receive gifts that have sentimental value and can be passed along to your children, whether on their same birthday or on another special birthday/event such as graduation or something.  I'm not sure where I adopted this idea given that my parents aren't very sentimental people despite the amount of photos and items in their memory boxes?  

Anyway, so this raises my question.. What would you want to receive for your eighteenth birthday?  Or your sixteenth, or twenty first, or fiftieth?  I personally would want to receive sentimental gifts, gifts that I can pass along to my children, and they can pass along to theirs.  I think that's a beautiful thing, a tradition that used to be normal but is sort of lost now.  In fact I can specifically say some of the things I would like to receive for my eighteenth.  I would like to receive a copy of the complete collection of stories, poems, and short stories of Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne.  We used to have a copy of this when I was a child but as far as we know it's been lost in all the moving we've done in the past five years.  Anyway, my dad used to read me a different story from it every night, in fact I think he only read a page or two each night until I nodded off?  But those stories were what I grew up to, that book was the first book I read from once I learnt how to read and the stories I remember have stayed with me, they make me smile [the memories of reading with Father] when I'm sort of sad, and I would just love to have the original copy or if that's not possible a new copy so I can re-read them whenever, and read them to my children when the time comes, then they can read them to their children.  I would also like a Purity Ring.  I actually wanted one for my sixteenth birthday but I was too shy to ask my parents for one and I didn't want to face the criticism I would receive at school for staying abstinent, so I left it.  But I regret that now and would really like one for my eighteenth.  

I just asked my parents what they received for their eighteenth birthday, my Mother said she received a few silver necklaces and pendents and rings and stuff and a suitcase.  Back in her times this was a big deal, I think the pendant and necklace I currently wear were actually hers from then that I took?  And she also informed me that I would be receiving the suitcase for my eighteenth.  When I asked my Father he sort of laughed and informed me that he didn't receive anything of importance for his eighteenth.  I was sort of shocked until I remembered that he was probably in England when he turned 18 and over there and in America as well 21 is the birthday of importance and independence not 18.  So I asked him what he received for his 21st birthday and he told me "A key.".  I was slightly confused until I remembered this old wooden key I used to see lying around the place in our home in Western Australia.  It was about the length of an adult males foot, was wooded, had an engraved '21st' on it and was signed by the people who attended his birthday or something.  It used to be a symbol, like the key of independence, but now given that most teenagers receive their independence once they get their P's receiving this 'key' isn't as sentimental or meaningful.  I'm not sure if I'd want to receive one, I would loose it and to be honest the idea doesn't hold much appeal to me, much like the other '18th" specific presents like glasses, or I don't know.. Other stuff?  I just don't like it when it has the age on it unless it was a photo frame.  And even then, it would just end up cluttered on my desk or something?  

So I went to the internet and asked what my friends would want to receive for their 18th birthdays, or what they did receive.  

Cookie said she would like to have a working car.  She currently has a  VW Beetle, but her dad has decided to 'fix it up' and to be honest it looks like it's currently in some scary car horror movie... And she's able to go for her P's on her actual birthday.  So she would like to receive a working car.  

Leprechaun said he would want books.  Nothing specific, nothing sentimental, nothing of much value.  Just the same presents he received for his 17th birthday and will receive for his 19th.  

Dotty (another male friend of mine, but unlike The Nerd he is stationed in WA) said he would want a car too.  But said if it was from a friend, jacks or vodka (basically alcohol).

A Facebook 'friend' said he'd probably like to receive books and 'stuff'.  

Another Facebook 'friend' said she'd like to receive Visa cards, or new electronics, but mostly money so she could go shopping with her friends and have a blast and make some memories. 

Yet another Facebook 'friend' said she'd like a laptop, in preparation for College (obviously stationed in America), for her 16th she would want a car, 21st she would go out drinking and receive alcohol. 

G-String said he'd either like a sentimental gift, or a bottle of jacks.

So basically this whole modern generation isn't as sentimental as the past ones were.  Or maybe I just value the older values (can I say that, is that right?) more than the modern values. G-String also said he doesn't drink alcohol, that it's just something to receive.  I don't even understand that?  If your 18 and can legally buy yourself alcohol (in Australia) wouldn't you want to go and get it yourself?  I don't know.  I'm not up with the times or whatever. 

I can't remember what the beginning of this post is but I feel I should start to wrap it up before I start dribbling shit.... So comment below what you would want to receive on these 'special' birthdays or what you did receive, I would honestly love to hear from all of you! So please comment below, subscribe or whatever, +1 this, share my blog with your friends, and give me some suggestions on what I can discuss and what I can do to improve my blog! 

Thank you for reading!

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

[I sort of lost my flow with this one, I'm really sorry about that.  I started writing this about three hours ago, and yeah, just sorry about that.]

February the Seventeenth 2014.

I Don't Know What To Say?

DISCLAIMER: Talk of Period's ahead. 

I have a headache, my period is due some point in the next 48 hours (I think) and I want cuddles, but my cat doesn't like me and I'm perpetually single. 

Heyo you freaky nerds,

so yeah, I have a headache, it's pretty bad.. I've had it the past 6 hours?  I get them sometimes.  No idea why?  Might have something to do with not drinking enough water?  Who knows.   Anyway, so that sucks.  My monthly friend is due to arrive soon so I've been feeling internally bitchy, but I don't like others to think I'm mean so I pent it all up and release the bitchiness on Leprechaun and my family.  So again, that sucks.  I have such a low tolerance this time of the month... It's almost entertaining looking back at my thoughts.  Like I get so mad at people who have bags that make rattly noises, I sometimes want to rip their bags of, throw them on the floor and stomp on them.... True fact.

And lastly I want cuddles, I have a snuffly nose, headache, I'm grumpy and bitchy, and honestly I just want a cute attractive male who is preferably my boyfriend or soul mate or husband to be cuddling with me and spooning.  Because both are cute.  And comfy.  And what I desire at the moment.  Only problem is I'm perpetually single and my cat hates me and isn't allowed in my room when it's messy.  Which is always. 

So that's that.

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Sixteenth 2014.

Bucket Lists, Timing, and Jamie Oliver.

Bucket Lists:

So yesterday on Pinterest I made a board for my bucket list.  It wasn't originally, really, a bucket list.  More of a list of places I really want to go in my life time, even though I probably won't end up going to most of them.  I started around 10 and kept telling myself I would stop at half past, or at 11 or 11:30.   This went on until 4 in the morning when my internet stopped working, I'm still convinced Father turned it off.  But in all seriousness, there are so many places I want to travel to, so many things I am willing to try once I start putting myself out of my comfort zone.  I want to go to Jamaica, Holland, Prague, the Mayan Ruins, Machu Pichu, the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and just so many other places, I want to go to Switzerland, Greece, Rome, Israel, Hawaii, Venezuela, Peru, Italy, Brazil, Costa Rica, Las Vegas, Spain, Figi!  There's so many beautiful places, and I want to go bungee jumping, I want to participate in the La Tomatina in Spain (the tomato fight), I want to participate in a mud run, and go to the Holi Festival!  I want to go bobsledding, ride an elephant, go indoor skydiving, leave a letter at Juliete's balcony in Verona, release a paper lantern.  There's just so many magical things to experience and I want to be out there doing them!  I will do what it takes to do at least half the things on that list and go to at least a quarter of the destinations. If you want to see all the places and things I have on my bucket list you can follow my Pinterest board, I'm going to be adding stuff to it all the time.  The link is here.

Timing

Had a rather awkward conversation with Leprechaun a few hours ago.  I just wanted to share it here..

L:  How's the blog post coming?

B: It's like lunch time, why would I be writing it now?

L: Lunch time?

B: Ye

B: No.

B: Not lunch time.

L: No.

L: No, it's not.

B: It's 8.
B: At night.
B: I wasn't informed.

L: Not lunch time at all. 

So yeah, that was pretty awkward... But I figured, what the hell, I'm here for your entertainment.  Why not risk further humiliation at my own hands.  

Jamie Oliver.

I don't want to re-write this so I'll copy what I sent to Mother and paste it here to explain this. 

So I'm just chilling on YouTube when I come across Jamie Oliver's YouTube channel.  So I do the normal thing and slightly stalk it (only like 92% stalk) but I've discovered the downside to stalking a cooking channel, dear mother, would you like to know what it is?  You can probably guess.  If you thought that it made me hungry you would be correct.  I'm hungry for food I don't even like because it looks mouth watering... You should check it out.  There are so many yummy things there.. I really want the fried chicken.. Like now.. I also want the fried chicken from Bento but that's not happening.  We need to learn how to make that..

https://www.youtube.com/user/JamieOliver/videos

Other:

Painted my nails a pretty colour, it's like a vibrant coral orange.  I really like it!

Going to shave my legs for the first time in like 2 months tomorrow morning before school.  Go me.  I have the morning off so I should have enough time.  

I posted a funny Facebook status.  Sort of.

"Dad just called the cat and I responded and he just sort of patted my head and walked off."

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Fifteenth 2014.

Waiting Until My Reality Is Better Than My Dreams.  

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.".  

It may seem strange to know that I'm a very 'romantic' person when I've only had about two boyfriends and neither were 'real' relationships.  One was about 3 weeks and even though we had gone to school together we lived in different districts so we didn't see each other the entire time we were dating.  The other was Leprechaun, and that was more like a friendship.  It took us over 250 days to actually kiss- my fault.  This isn't because I don't think other people are attractive, or don't have crushes (not the not kissing thing, the only having had two 'boyfriends' even though I'm 17 years old), it's because I was brought up to find the one  and unlike my fellow peers I don't feel the need to essentially waste time in between now and when I find the one.  If I were to get in a relationship at this point sooner or later my partner would no doubt expect us to take the next step, and I don't want to give away something that belongs to another person.  I know a lot of people say that, but to be honest my parents were both virgins at 40 when they met.  I'm also a person who doesn't like public displays of affection.  Growing up my parents didn't show much affection in front of my brother and I.  It's not that they don't love each other, they are in my opinion, soul mates.  They're made for each other and they compliment one another well.  But they just aren't like that.  I've only seen them being affectionate towards one another in the last few years, but even then it's not kissing, just hand holding and sweet flirting.  

I'm not saying I want what my parents have, but whether I like it or not I am a product of my past and I've come to see signs of affections as special and valuable.  Gifts that are given to someone truly loved that are kept and treasured. 

So I don't know what specifically I'm saying, I just felt like making a post explaining or saying why I don't actually want a boyfriend (even though it is on my new years resolutions list, but honestly that was more of a joke).  I don't want to give away my virginity or my heart and then find the one it would feel like a betrayal if that makes sense.  I don't know how, but I'm positive I'll know the one when the time is right.  As I used to tell people in the street when I was a child, Jesus loves you and God's got a plan for your life.  I know that there is someone out there who was made to be my perfect fit, someone who can fight with me, love me, and who complements me completely.  Not that they compliment me, but complement me.  Make sure you see the difference people. 

I don't even know what I'm saying, I just wanted to clear some thoughts out of my head and these for up the front so enjoy them.  Or don't.  Doesn't much matter to me.  

In other matters earlier I had my earphones in and I thought I heard my name so I yelled "COMING!" but then realized that I might not have been getting summoned, so when I came outside I was so thankful that Mother had actually called me.  But just now I thought I heard my name -earphones still in- and yelled "COMING" and in reply I heard Father yell "I WAS TALKING TO THE CAT NOT YOU" and everything in my house went silent and you could hear Benny Boy laughing downstairs... That was pretty embarrassing.

Okay so I've just had dinner and I'm going to continue pinning stuff on Pinterest.  (Bookworm_Woes).

Ciao.

Live long and prosper. 

Becca.   

February the Fourteenth 2014.

Happy Valentines Day, And Be Sure To Turn Into Werewolves Tonight's Full Moon And Kill Your Loved One. 

Okay, so I was going to write a post about werewolves and Valentines day but I got distracted with blooper reels on YouTube.  I've literally been watching them for the past four hours.. So I'm going to keep doing that.

Night peeparoos.

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Thirteenth 2014.

Conformity.

You've all heard of it, but what does it mean?

According to Google Definition, conformity  is the compliance with standards, rules, or laws.  

According to the Oxford Dictionary it's behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions. 

According to Dictionary.com it is an action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. 

According to Wikipedia it's the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors to group norms. 

According to me conformity is changing oneself to fit into the standard set by society.  Taking away individuality and replacing it with clones. 

Today's society preaches that individuality is important and that we should always be ourselves.  That we should have our own set of morals, our own values, our own sense of humour, our own sense of style, our own sense of who we are and how we act.  Unfortunately, like so many other things, this is a 'in theory' situation.  Everyone has conformed one way or another, we do it out of desire to be accepted.  

When faced with a situation where there is a majority vote for an opinion that you do not share [so you are the minority] you are more likely to agree with the majority publicly even though you disagree privately.  By doing so you can subconsciously end up changing your opinion or stance on the matter to that of the majority.   

Now, to give a visual idea of conformity, lets look at 'hipsters'.  [Please no one take any of the following as offensive.  I'm merely making a statement on my own personal views for this topic] They all wear short, ripped, shorts, that usually end up giving everyone a display of their ass cheeks.  They are all obsessed with triangles for some unknown reason.  They all straighten their hair and grow it out long, and they usually wear revealing shirts, and Vans or canvas shoes.  By doing so they are conforming to a style that is popular, they assume by dressing, acting, and talking the way the other 'cool kids' or 'hipsters' do, that they'll be accepted by the majority.  This happens with more stereotypes than just 'hipsters'.  In my own personal friendship group I've felt the need to change my opinion to match the majority, I've felt the need to like alcohol even though I don't really like it, simply because the majority like it too.  I've even felt the need to conform in class.  

Although conformity isn't a new concept I feel it's very important to bring it up and discuss it because even now the idea of individuality that we have is being changed to fit how others think if individuals.  

When people don't conform they can be seen as loners because of their dissent.  Because they don't agree with the majority they are viewed as wrong, because they don't dress like the majority they're tasteless, because they don't wear make-up or play sports like the majority, they're ugly or weak.  This isn't the case.  I have my own opinions and I have my own reasons for believing they are correct or true.  I wear my pajamas to school, not because I'm tasteless but because I want to feel comfortable [and I'm lazy].  I sometimes don't wear make-up because I don't have the time, in fact the only reason I usually wear make-up is because I find joy in applying it.  I don't participate in sports, not because I'm weak, but because I prefer to exercise my brain rather than my body.  

From my own experience I feel I'm very lucky to attend a school where there is very little pressure to conform.  Despite the few times I have conformed to suit the majority I feel I've since learned that maybe the minority might have it right.  As much as I view conformity as something wrong, it's what made us the way we are now.  The characters we saw in cartoons, the people in the books we read, our teachers and what they taught us, we've conformed to accept what they've shown us about life.  But there are also aspects of those which we've since learned to ignore, or to not accept as our own.  As a female I feel the influence of Disney movies for me to aspire to find my 'Prince Charming', I feel the influence from characters in my novels to braver, I feel the influence of my teachers and what they taught me about politics, furthermore I feel the influence of all medias to always look pretty, to be skinny or healthy, to have a healthy social life, and to lose my virginity.  I feel these influences and honestly now, as an adult [well almost] I've come to accept that these influences are wrong in regards to my own values and beliefs, and that I shouldn't accept them.  

I'm not saying that if you dress the same way as your friends, or talk the same way that you're wrong and that you shouldn't be conforming.  I'm simply saying that instead of aspiring to look like your 'friend's' and acting in a way that you feel will gain their approval, you should be yourself.  Completely and entirely.  You should wear whatever you feel comfortable in, not a pair of $60 ripped shorts that barely cover anything, not a layers of make up to cover up every imperfection, not a whole jar of gel or hair spray to keep your hair spiky for a few hours, no you should wear what you feel comfortable in.  You want to wear high heels because they make you feel like a goddess?  Then do it.  You want to wear legging because your ass looks great and then go ahead, you want to wear your pants halfway down your legs because you have cool underwear, go ahead.  But do it because you want to, because it makes you feel comfortable, or sexy.  If you disagree with what they are saying, don't not speak up.  Have your say, make your opinion know.  If your friends are bullying someone, don't join in just because they are, speak up.  When we leave school they'll be a whole new range of influences and situations where we'll choose to conform or to not conform with the majority or minority.  Those choices will be harder, no doubt, and probably in the end more life altering than the ones we experience in high school.  But ultimately what I'm saying is to make you own choices.  Election time coming along?  Everyone voting for person A because of this, this, and this?  But you don't agree with some of what they're saying, you think person B is right, that they're morals and values are better?  But you're going to vote for person A, right?  Because that's what everyone else thinks is right?  So shouldn't you? No.  You are entitled to your own opinion, it is not required that you conform to the way others think just to be accepted.  

I have no idea what's I've said, I tried to make a point, I'm not sure if I made it, I said a lot of stuff and I have some opinions on this topic from other people as well.  I'm sorry if I somehow offended anyone with this, I'm simply saying my opinion, you by no means have to agree with anything or everything I've said.  This is my blog, and I am free to say what I like.  As you all know I don't tend to read over my work, so if anything didn't make sense my apologies.  

I also asked Facebook, Tumblr, and my parents about their thoughts on Conformity in today's society and today's youth [and in my parents case conformity they experienced in their society as children].  Here are the responses. There aren't many because no matter what I say I'm not actually that popular.

"Well, to me, people do it [conform] because they want to fit in, to do what everyone else is doing, or wearing, because they want to be accepted.  But no one needs to dress or act like something they aren't to fit it.  It's always good to be around people who like what you like, but that doesn't mean you can't be or act how you want... Although, in a way, being non-conforming could be seen as conforming, because a lot of people are doing that, now, I guess."

-Facebook.

"Conformity.... well in my youthful years (the 1970’s) that was pretty much a dirty word.  As a matter of fact, non-conformity could have been the mantra of my generation.  So much so that those who were trying not to conform with ‘the establishment’, actually ended up creating a standard that the youth felt compelled or obliged to conform with.  So it happened that in observing this trend, I chose not to conform with the non-conformists but also held firm to challenging ‘the norm’ as I saw it.  It was a time of great thought and introspection, probably too much.  Anyway,  I endeavoured to set my own pace and path in life.  The need for self-expression in part did portray itself in the adoption of  ‘hippie’ attire.  Externally and at first glance I wore the clothing of other ‘non-conformists’.  However my bohemian-hippie dress-code was never grotty.  In my stand against conforming with ‘the great unwashed’, I washed, ironed and sprayed starch on my ‘Indian skirts, shirts and wrap-around trousers.   Wrap your little modern mind mind about how they (wrap-pants) worked!  Though the  Peruvian Poncho was just that, it’s favoured use was as a skirt, it made many eyebrows arch on both sides of the debate.  Memories now return that these were the days of the maxi dress and skirt, so nothing is new under the sun.  We wore really short skirts one year then rebelled against the fashion.  I can confidently say we were the leaders of fishnet stockings and the maxi (skirt, dress, cardigan, coat).  In winter, I’d wear my flannelette PJs underneath my Indian skirts and maxi dresses (always making sure a little flannelette peeked through).  Of course I’d go nowhere without a shawl.    After the enthusiasm to ‘make a statement’ had passed, practicalities took over and despite how much I still loved my poncho, I had to confess it made my skin itch.   As for the wrap around pants, well depending on which way the wind blew, they’d never stay put.  That was when I started making my own harem pants (well ahead of the fashion trend).  I could say that by the time other’s thought about ‘conforming with my style’, I’d moved on."
-Mother Dearest.


"1) Conformity is driven by Mankind’s intense desire for acceptance. Only those who are very settled and balanced in their own soul can afford to be genuinely non-conformist. However, each generation has different role models to which they aspire to conform and find acceptance among others who likewise aspire to conform to that role model. So it appears that each generation is non-conformist to its predecessor. 2) For me, I had no liking whatsoever for the dreadful ABC music (orchestras, operas, screeching sopranos, tuneless ivory twinkling) my parents insisted on inflicting on the household, so I withdrew to my own space and listed to top-forty rock/pop stations (esp 6KY, which became KY-FM on 96MHz, later 96fm in Perth). Likewise, the short back and sides hair styles spoke of Victorian rigidity and stuffiness. We were having none of that, so became a scruffy, long-haired bunch. I could go on, and on, and on ......"
-Father Dearest 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

February the Twelfth 2014.

Pass.

I'm going to have to post something great at the end of the week to make up for these past few days, but I haven't been feeling 100% and nothing much has happened so no harm done. 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

February the Eleventh 2014.

Pass.

I'm bummed, did poem writing today and it wore me out. 

I did watch the newest Teen Wolf episode and I would like to make the following statements then I'll be off.

STILES BABY!! NO!! ARE YOU OKAY!! OH MY GOSH, WHAT IS GOING ON!! PLEASE GET BETTER!!

LYDIA, SWEETHEART! OH YOU POOR THING! PLEASE GET BETTER!

KIRA YOU'RE MUMS BAD! MAKE HER LEAVE STILES ALONE!  KIRA YOU'RE WEIRD WHAT'S GOING ON!

ALLISON WHY ARE YOU RECEIVING STRANGE VOICE MAILS??

PAPA MCCALL YOU REALLY NEED TO GET WITH WHAT'S GOING ON IN TOWN!!

FEELS I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE NOW!!

Live long and prosper, godspeed. 

Becca. 

February the Tenth 2014

Too Tired For This Shit.

I just want to sleep and to have the Vampire Academy movie.  

Thank you, that is all, goodnight.

[I actually did a fair bit today but I can't be bothered to post about any of it at the moment.  I might remember some of it tomorrow but for the time being we can all just ignore today.]

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca

Note: Facebook Statuses.

"You people really don't appreciate my humour.  It's a shame, I'm the funniest person you'll ever meet. 

Even my face is funny."

"I love these Olympics.  Well what I'm seeing on Tumblr.  They're so gay.  Like Russia says 'No gay propaganda' and the rest of the world is like TASTE THE FUCKING RAINBOW and I just love this."

"Where the hell did Flappy Bird come from?  It just appeared one day and took over everyone's lives."

"Our power just freaking went off and I was like 'Oh it's fine I can still reblog shit and stuff because my laptops charged.' THEN THE WEBPAGE STOPPED LOADING AND I REMEMBERED THAT THE INTERNET IS PART OF THE ELECTRICITY AND NOT JUST A NATURAL PHENOMENON!"

"When mum forces me to get up and get some 'sunshine' so she takes me for the drive to take Benny Boy to work -getting Macca's along the way.  Then when we get home I run to my room, strip of my jeans, put on my fluffy pants and hop back in bed...

I was in the sun for 15 minutes.

Good effort mum."

"Grandma: Where have all your curls gone?

Me: They faded with my hopes and dreams.

Grandma: What?

Me: What?

Mum: Go back to your room and hibernate."

"Two weeks.  I had two weeks to do all my homework.  

Two English Studies essays, two Ancient Civ's essays, and a photography assignment.

Two weeks and all I achieved was a sentence that I deleted because it sounded silly."

"It creeps me out that the voice I hear in my head when I read isn't my own.. Like who's voice it that?  Would I recognize it if I heard it in real life?  Is that the voice of my soul mate?  The voice of the person who will kill me?  God?

I need to stop reading Young Adult Paranormal Fiction...."

"Gonna call one of my future kids Caspian and raise him to be a little sassy shit so I can call him Sassy Cassy.  

This is going to happen.

-Oh and he'd also be a king of Narnia-"

"So I was trying to sleep.. But then I remembered something funny and started laughing hysterically... So I'm back because I woke myself up." 

"I just sit in my bed laughing to myself all day.

There now you know how I've been spending my holidays."

"Hipster is a type of female underwear."

"Whiteboards are remarkable."

"On the TV; a reporter interviewing Stephanie Meyer about 'The Host' and brings up Twilight because it was her first published novel.

Reporter: So how did you come up with the idea for Twilight?

Stephanie: It came to me in a dream.  I saw a man with glittering skin standing in a field.

-Mum comes around the corner after dealing with construction stuff-

Mum: What a nightmare.

I fell on the floor laughing! She didn't understand! She stood there until I could breathe, and I told her and she actually BURST OUT laughing! Her timing is impeccable!"

"That moment when The Amazing Spider-Man is directer by Marc Webb...."

"So I just went downstairs for a glass of water, I was singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song because I thought mum and dad were asleep.. Anyway, so I walked into the Lounge/Office room and froze.  Mum turned to dad ans said 'At least she matured physically...'  I walked back out."

"School isn't a fashion show and your like isn't an after school special."

"I remember before Harry Potter I wondered why they never made a villain who wore a bright colour, like pink, it was always black or dark purple or red.  The I met Umbridge.  That bitch was worse than Voldemort."

I like this next one.. It's from December in 2012.

"High school is nearly over, then we have two years at [insert college name] then we get thrown into the real world.  Meanwhile I'll be dancing the Flutterwakon in Narnia with a bunch of demi-god, fallen angel, and Nephilium friends while waiting for my Luxon best friend to show up so we can go and help the Shadow Hunters fight the demons with the help of the faeries, werewolves, and vampires........ O_O"

"In math today:

Teacher: Now everyone have a giggle.

Teacher: We have to find the square root of 169.

Class: *No laughter*" 

"I'm a comedian. <--- See?  That was funny."

I hope you appreciate the effort I went too to find these statuses through my history on Facebook.  It was so embarrassing! I ranted about the silliest things! I went all the way back to December in 2011.  That was three years ago and probably when I started to be funny.  But one way or another you bitches can all agree I'm the mother fucking bomb!  If not, then you're wrong.  

Love you guys! Sorry for the swearing I'm in a weird mood that I can't explain...

February the Ninth 2014.

New Years Resolutions, Camroon's Selfie Addiction, Bikie's, Flappy Bird, and Probably Other Stuff. 

'Ello poppets,

New Years Resolutions Update:

Becca's New Year's Resolutions! 

Get healthy and toned. ☐ (I've been walking to school, and around town.)

Get a new wardrobe ☐ and find my own fashion sense. (Need money, but I think I'm finding my own fashion sense.)

Learn how to apply make-up and do so. ☑ (I haven't worn it everyday, but I know how to apply the basics.)

Make new friends. ☐ (Nope, nope, nope, nope.  spoke to two new people?  But I was forced to.)

Blog everyday, ☑, and post a Vlog update once a week once this blog gets underway...? ☐ (Even though I've missed a few days I've explained why and will be posting a set of challenges I had to do as punishment for that.   As for the Vlogs, once I know how to use certain video editors that will also be a thing.)

Get a job that pays well ☐ and save, save, save. ☐ (Yeah, hahahahahahahahahahahaah)

Buy a boyfriend. ☐ Oh you can't buy those?  How does someone acquire one? 

Be open to more opportunities that arise in the community.  ☐ (Nothing has really happened for me to be involved with just yet.  But I've been on the lookout.)

Take some chances. ☐ (Chance hasn't arisen.) 

Eat healthier! ☐ More sushi and smoothies, yum! (Been eating a fair bit of Macca's lately... And sometimes Subway? So not quite...)

Write the draft to one novel.  ☐ I mean, I want to be a novelist and that means I have to finish a book one day, right? (Working on the details for some of my ideas, but I haven't started the writing process just yet.)

For a stronger friendship bond with my best friends ☐.  And strengthen the ones with my other friends that I've drifted away from ☐. 

Get rid of my pimples. ☐ 

Get my passport ☐, and plan my European/US gap year ☐. (I've got some ideas for my gap year but no specifics, and I'm not getting my passport until my pimples are gone.  Also Father wants me to get it when I turn eighteen.)

Spend less time being a hermit.  ☐ (That.. Has not happened.)

Don't procrastinate.  As much.  ☐ (I've procrastinated procrastination.  This will be a tricky one to fulfill.)

Get my drivers license.  ☐ (I can easily do it, I just have to be bothered to go and do it... I might do it on Tuesday afternoon?)

Work on my flirting ☑.  I have a lot of stories for you all....  (I haven't actually used my techniques on humans, but my teddy bear has responded very well, we're going on a date tomorrow evening.  Wish me luck!)

Eat a lot of fudge.  ☐ (I miss fudge, really need to buy some fudge..)

Have fun, but not too much fun ;) ☐ (I've had fun reading, but that's not what I meant with this.  And I certainly haven't had 'Too Much Fun ;)'. )

Read 100 books -short stories included.  ☐ (15/100, Touching Smoke by Airicka Phoenix, Finding Sky by Joss Stirling, Witch Song by Amber Argyle, Meant To Be by Tiffany King, Touch Of Power by Maria V. Snyder, Unlikely Allies by Tiffany King, The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes, Lovely Vicious by Sara Wolf, Trouble by Samantha Towle, Reborn by S.L. Stacy, Into The Still Blue by Veronica Rossi, Reaper's Property by Joanna Wylde, Undeniable by Madeline Sheehan, Ride by J.C. Emery, Thrash by J.C. Emery. I've actually read more, I must have forgotten to put them into my Goodreads.com thing.  I've read the other two books in the Touch Of Power series by Maria V. Snyder.)

Try not to get myself killed.  It would be such a shame to deprive you all of my humour. ☐ (Not going to check this off because I don't want to jinx it.)

Make more New Year's resolutions to not fulfill... Because honestly the likelihood of me completing more than two of these is low... -Thank you Leprechaun for this lovely addition.  

Camroon's Sefie Addiction:

I was asked to include this, my dear friend Camroon has a series problem.  He's ALWAYS taking selfies, I'm about to make a montage or collage of some examples but to give you an idea I have over one hundred of his selfies taken on my camera and phone.  He probably has a similar number on his iPad and phone, and I'm not even going to start on every ones else's media devices.  There is like maybe 12 photos in this little college but believe me when I say there's plenty more where they came from! 

As you can see he has a serious problem, we're considering SA (Selfies anonymous) for him.  Oh and that cute kitten?  His names Martinez -Marty- and Camroon rescued him.  

Bikies:

As some of you might now I've been reading... Okay fine they're partially erotica's... I was going to say smutty novels but after the one I picked up last night I have to admit it to myself that they are erotica's.  I don't know why, I mean I skip through most of the.. Erotic scenes.  I think I love the males and how possessive and alpha they are?  No idea.  Anyway, so I've been on a MC kick lately and can I just say, oh hot dayum!  These bikers that I've been reading are hot! I mean I know it isn't like the books in real life, some parts yes, but for a majority no.  But man, these guys, the way the act and talk and hold themselves.  And I've been loving how the female protagonists aren't all submissive and shy and wussy.  They're head strong and now how to deal with the rowdy bikers in their clubs.  Some start out like that, or abused, I sort of like that too, I mean I know there's no beauty in those sorts of things and I wouldn't wish any of what those protagonists go through on anyone, but I like how they over come it and end up beating the shit or killing the bastards that hurt them!  Anyway, back to the bikers themselves.  I don't know if it's how possessive and protective they are of their Old Lady's or Their Girl, how alpha male they are, how witty they are, the dimples they all seem to have, their attitude, just how hot they are, their motorcycles, or the tattoos.  They're just hot.  I also love how gentle and kind and perfect they act around Their Old Lady or Their Girl.  And when I read the epilogues and they have children I love how they act around them and how they care about them!  It's just adorable and as I said I know it doesn't work like that in real life but in novels it's just, asdfghjkl;'! Dreamy.  

Flappy Bird:

Fuck Flappy Bird.  

Other Thoughts And What I've Been Doing The Last Few Days:

Okay, so yesterday I was supposed to go down to Leprechauns secret spot at the beach to write up some details for my atmosphere poem but I ended up reading all day so I had planned on going today but it's really windy and it's raining so I'm thinking of going tomorrow morning before school. I just need to sit down on one of the tree branches and breathe in, try and describe what I feel, how I feel, the smells the sounds the textures.  Then I can start writing up some lines that will eventually form part of a poem which will be written into 13 drafts before submitting. I also haven't showered since Friday so I'm feeling kind of gross, and I have no clean clothes and I haven't shaved my legs, and I haven't been eating properly either... I really need to sort out my priorities... Anyway, so school has been great so far. I'm really excited for this year, I love my classes and my teachers are nice, even through there are so little grade twelves and so many grade elevens.  We've started calling them Elevenies and we're Twelvies.  But so much better than the actual adolescent Twelvies.  Because we're hotter, and more intelligent. Today I've just been sleeping, eating, listening to Let It Go (the Demi version even though I prefer the Idina version) on repeat and writing this.  Not very exciting, I know.  I bought a new wallet the other day, actually Cookie bought it for me, it has so many card spots and it's pretty and it's filling up fast as I find my coffee cards and loyalty cards which I had to removed from my old wallet because it was too full.  I found my old student card from grade seven (not sure if it's my first year of grade seven or the second year though) and put it next to my student card from this year and I was slightly shocked at how different I look.  I mean I knew I had grown, but man, I've changed a lot.  I'm sure I'll post a picture eventually.. I definitely left my baby fat behind me somewhere along the line.  In grade seven and seven (ha ha) I was given the nickname Bubbles because I was a bit of an air head or something -I was actually pretty intelligent back then but I put on a show, I felt like it was what people expected of me- and I couldn't help but think that I've come a long way since Bubbles...  Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up, I might post something else this evening.  Camroon has a few last words he wants me to share.  Or should I say pictures. 

Camroon:

One more for the collection.

Becca:

I'll add it at the end :)

Camroon:

Becca:

:D

Camroon:

Shmiles.

Becca:

I'm adding all of these.

With the commentary from both you and I.

Camroon:

Lol

He's a special one.. But we love him for it.  

So that's it for now, I'm going to post a poem we looked at in class with my thoughts on it and maybe some quotes.  So keep an eye out in the next few hours.

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

(I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors and if I slipped up with any of my friends nick names.   I'm drinking Coca'Cola so I'm like my mind palace is all over the place at the moment and my thoughts keep changing so if I did mess up please just over look it or if it's really annoying you inform me so I can fix it.) [Also sorry about the white background on some of the writing, it does that when I copy and paste stuff and I copied the check box so yeah, that happened.]

February the Eighth 2014.

I'm sleepy and I can't be bothered to do this tonight.

I know I promised a long blog post today, but I have so much to post tomorrow and I'm bummed out and have no knowledge as to why.. 

So cya tomorrow.

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

Note:

Oh, and fuck Flappy Bird!! I've been playing for four hours and my high score is five!! This is bullshit.  I'm going to get to six!!

Becca

UPDATE: I INCREASED MY MOTHER FUCKING HIGH SCORE BY TWO!! WOO!!!

February the Seventh 2014.

Just got my internet back up and running, it's now the eighth of February and I'm too tired to write an actual post but I don't want to not post so here goes.

I read way to many books with smut.  It's not my fault that all the Bikie Club books, and Bad Boy books, and just book in general that have hot male leads have a lot of.. erotic.. scenes.. But like this year I think three quarters of the books I've read (13) are smutty and have erotic scenes that could even make the books themselves be classed as erotica and I'm going to shut up.  Going to write a long blog post tomorrow to make up for today. 

Sorry about this guys.  Just ignore it completely?

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca

February the Sixth 2014.

Daydreams, Project Planning, and A Stolen Locker.

Daydreams.

I'm listening to Waiting For Superman by Daughtry and it makes me want to dance in the rain, like in the middle of a busy area and dance with strangers.  Like not just random people, but if an old person was sitting near me I would ask them to dance with me.  I don't know why, but every time I listen to this song I want to do that.. I just want to stand in the rain spilling with the rain falling on my face because I'm looking towards to sky.  There's a possible thunderstorm tomorrow, I might do this then.  If there is.  Leprechaun will you please film it so I have evidence of my stupidity when I claim it's not my fault I have a cold?  Thanks buddy.  

Project Planning.

Okay, so today I had my first real Graphic Design class and I really enjoyed it, and not just because my favorite teacher is the teacher.  I love what we're doing and I decided when I got home I would draw out my ideas for my blog in my art journal to show him tomorrow so he can show me what tools I'll be needing to use so I can learn.  But tomorrow in my last two blocks which I have off, I could go home or hang out with my friends but I'm thinking I'll do this instead, I'm going to create a Doctor Who themed cover page for my art journal because my teacher, Dean, gives everyone nick names and mine is Whovian and all last year in Photography when he marked my photography art journal he always left a note asking for some Doctor Who, so now I can use Photoshop better I might just do that.  I actually got a little bored in my planning and started drawing random things, but I was waiting for the printer to work so I could print of my examples of what I'd like to do.  I'm actually really proud of that page... It's sort of pretty.. Might colour it in? 

A Stolen Locker.

So this year I got a locker.  I've had lockers before, one in grade 7 (2008 AND 2009, I repeated), and in grade nine and ten (desk lockers), but I didn't get a locker last year at my college because I didn't think I'd need it.  Huge mistake.  I had a sore back most of the year from lugging novels, text books, my laptop, lever arch files, and jumpers around all day.  When I got my locker Leprechaun was with me so he got the locker next to mine.  Yesterday on the first day when I put my belongings in my locker I noticed his locker was still open and didn't have a lock so I wrote a letter basically saying "Hey Idiot." and put it in the bottom of his locker.  However by lunch time he still hadn't gone to his locker because he didn't know where it was, so I went with him and when we got there we discovered that someone has claimed it.  Now you have to pay for lockers at my school, it's optional.  But some people just take them without paying or asking.  I wrote a letter telling them to take their belongings and lock and vacate the premises, but Leprechaun decided to use my bobby pin (hair slide?) and pocket knife to open the lock and see who took it.  Didn't do much good?  Anyway we went to the front office and they put a pink slip basically telling the person to piss off and take their shit with them or it would end up at the office and the lock would be broken.  

It was empty today.  

-Happy now Leprechaun, I included your story.-

Other Random Bullshit.

Okay, so I found a few quotes on Tumblr I would like to share with everyone.

"Don't confuse my personality with my attitude.  My personality is who I am.  My attitude depends on who you are."

Frank Ocean.

"In my mind I am eloquent; I can climb intricate scaffolds of word and reach the highest cathedral ceilings and paint my thoughts.  But when I open my mouth, everything collapses."

Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies. 

So that's that.  I also had English Writing today and I loved it, even though we're doing poems.  Because I did this course last year I feel like I'm a little more prepared and capable.  I'm excited to start on my first poem but worried because when we get to doing major prose pieces I have no idea what I want to write because I don't want to have the same theme that happened last year but I tend to lean towards it whether I want to or not.  In fact I might share some of the pieces I submitted last year here.  In fact I will.  In parts because there's a total of nineteen pages.... 

Anyway, now I'm just listening to music and being a cool bean and chilling on Tumblr and thinking about what I could write for an atmospheric poem and also a poem with movement.  I think I have an idea..

I have English Comms and Media Production tomorrow.  Not as keen for those subjects because I'm 85% sure they'll be the ones I'm going to struggle with the most this year.  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.