Part One.
Dysfunction, philosophy and my amazing
social life that I claim is nonexistent due to the educational system.
Saturday, November the thirtieth, Two
Thousand and Thirteen.
Everyday of our lives we question the purpose of what we do, why we live
and if it's all worth it. We question the big philosophical statements
without meaning to. It's in our nature. What isn't in our nature is
to spend to much time thinking about these important philosophical statements,
instead we waste our intelligence sitting in front of technology slowly
becoming mindless zombies devoid of proper verbal communicative capabilities.
It is with the deepest sympathy that I must classify myself as one of
these 'mindless zombies'.
My name is Becca, actually it's Rebecca but that's not
relevant at this point. I am a 17 year old spawner -female- and for the next year I'm going to be documenting every
important detail of my day, week, month. Why? Well what if I think
of something philosophical but disregard it but then find it relevant
later?
No actually I just like to procrastinate and I figured why not use my
time -which would be better spent doing homework or reading- documenting my
life for a year? As you can see, I have a stimulating social life.
Sometimes I do actually have a exhilarating social life.. But when you
hang out with a group of nerds and your two best friends are far more outgoing
than yourself you tend to become a bit of a hermit. I mean, we hang out
when we walk to the bookstore and sometimes we drink together. Well they
drink and I reprimand them for doing foolish things. And I'm not actually
with them. So we don't technically drink together.
So I'll reiterate my previous statement, which was sarcasm and still is,
I have a stimulating social life.
I have A.D.H.D, that means I think too much, talk to fast, can't stay on
task and over focus on specific things that are usually extremely irrelevant.
The scientific meaning? Attention (Noun. Notice
taken of something or someone; the regarding of someone or something as
interesting or important.) Deficit (Noun. A deficiency or failing,
especially in a neurological or psychological function.) Hyperactive (Adjective.
Abnormally or extremely active.) Disorder (Noun. An illness that
disrupts normal physical or mental functions.). It is not a very debilitating
disorder, but I'm only saying that because I am on the inside of the situation.
My friends, teachers and parents -and the driver of the car that I walked
into this morning- can all account for times when it has been an issue. I
also have Anxiety (Noun. A nervous disorder marked by excessive uneasiness and
apprehension, typically with compulsive behaviour or panic attacks.) and Clinical (Adjective. Of a
disease or condition- causing observable and recognisable symptoms.) Depression (Noun. A mental
condition characterised by severe feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy,
typically accompanied by a lack of energy and interest in life.). I don't
whinge about any of these things so don't think I'm pointing them out to make a
spectacle of myself, I simply think this information may be relevant to
understanding why I do some of the things I do and why I write what I write.
My father (Currently sitting at the ripe age of 59.) and my brother (He's currently 18 but
he sure as hell doesn't act like an adult.) both have Autism (Noun. A mental
condition, present from early childhood, characterised by great difficulty in
communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language
and abstract concepts. A mental condition in which fantasy dominates reality.). Specifically
they come under the classification of Asperger's Syndrome (Noun. A developmental
disorder related to Autism and characterised by awkwardness in social
interaction, pedantry in speech, and preoccupation with very narrow
interests.). Not getting how they are? Think of Sheldon Cooper from The
Big Bang Theory. Thinking of him? Good. That's what
they're like except instead of physics or whatever science crap Sheldon studies/teaches,
they have trains and game designing. It's like living in Hell sometimes;
just far more entertaining.
As a result of all our issues my poor mother (Who is also sitting
at the ripe age of 59, but she looks about 30, compared to my father who
resembles Santa Clause.) has Depression, high blood pressure (Apparently that has something to do
with my brother and myself -according to mother dearest- however I'm positive
it has everything to do with how little exercise she gets and our late night
chocolate sessions.) and a bunch of other things that require her to take multiple tablets
throughout the day or whatever. Point is we make her life a living Hell.
I would like to put it on record that I regret ever making things hard
for her, unfortunately as I am a teenager I lack the ability to stop making her
life difficult. I've already apologised, multiple time.
One of my best friends has P.T.S.D - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition of
persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or
severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and
constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to
the outside world- , from events he endured as a child and
my other best friend suffers from partially self inflicted anxiety and
depression. (If either of you see this I AM SO SORRY! Please don't murder my innocent, naive ass!).
I'm currently failing grade 11, well I just finished failing grade 11
and am en route to fail grade 12 and live the rest of my life as a poor
novelist never selling a single novel -although at the rate I'm going it'll be
more like never finishing a novel. It's not that I don't like school, I
just seem to pick the hard classes. This coming year -the year in which
this blog will be used and occupied- I will
be partaking in four classes. Media Production, Art Production: Graphic
Design, English Communications and English Writing. They are all
difficult classes and my procrastination issues will cause me to lag behind in
the curriculum so I will rant a fair bit about how terrible my life is and how
I'm going to fail high school and never make anything of myself. Ignore
it. I'll probably delete those posts unless there is some profound
statement included somewhere withing said rant that makes me appear far more
philosophical and intelligent than I really am.
I'm writing this in November of 2013 and I don't actually intend to
officially start this blog until January
the first 2014. But I couldn't sleep and figured why not write an
epilogue -a little background information that may assist you on my journey.
I'll add a few more before this year is up so that when my journey begins
we'll have my origins out of the way.
Live long and prosper, godspeed,
Becca.
(This can be found on the page 'The Prologue' on the left hand sidebar.)
