November the Ninth 2014

#stillnotoverFrozen

Hey guys!  So it's been what.. Seven months since I last posted?  Whoops.. My bad.  I'm not going to rant on and on about how I'm sorry.  I was busy and wanted to pass school and that's about it.  Now I would like to make a few things clear before I get into this;  I won't be using nicknames for my friends anymore.  When I started out I wanted to let them have their privacy and what not, but the nicknames I gave for each of them aren't all as relevant as they were eleven months ago.  So the nicknames are gone.  If you have any questions about who is who feel free to ask.  Secondly I would like to state that I am still friends with Courtney (Cookie) and Zac (Leprechaun).  However over the next few months I won't be posting as much about them as they are starting apprenticeships and I'm going to be travelling. That's not to say they won't be included; because they will.  But they'll be few and far between.  I'll also not be posting everyday.  I still can't quite remember why I made that my plan for this year?  I'm a commitment phobe and a procrastinator so that wasn't one of my better ideas.. I'll be posting when I want and when I can.  I'll be posting more frequently on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook with quick short updates in the near future when I get more memory on my phone.

Okay, now onto the catch up?  I suppose it's only right, right?

Okay, so I don't know if I got around to telling you guys but I've had a sore back for a large percentage of the year I was kinda hush hush about it in the beginning.  I'm the sort of person that doesn't like to worry those closest to me - this also explains why I don't like getting mad or crying around people - so it wasn't until about three months after the pain started that I told my mum.  We went to the doctors and he just thought that I had normal back pain and it would go away soon.  After another month of pain mum decided I had sciatic pain, she decided to tell my doctor I had sciatic pain.  I did not have sciatic pain. Though what actually happened is very similar to sciatic pain and all related to the nerves.  I had a prolapsed disc in my lower spine, usually this would naturally go away after a few weeks.  Mine clearly has not, I've been on a high dosage of medication since we found out and it's confirmed that in the future at some point I'll need surgery to fuse my disc to my spine. So that sounds like fun. But for now, because I don't have a spare six weeks for bed rest (I'll get onto that in a moment) I'm going to have a needle inserted into my spine in three days to (hopefully) give me either permanent or temporary relief from the pain. So that's the update health wise.

Now, before I get onto my end of year plans and my plans for next year I want to share some very exciting news!  I'm now officially a high school graduate! How amazing and crazy is that? I don't want anyone to think that I passed with flying colours.  I may have passed school but I'm positive that over my two years at my school (it's a year eleven and twelve school, so there's only two years) and eight classes that I've failed four of them.  And if not failed then only just passed.  But just because I didn't necessarily pass those classes doesn't mean that I haven't learnt a lot from them or that I didn't enjoy them.  I did.  All of the classes I've taken I've enjoyed immensely.  Well, almost all.  English Literature (Studies) was a horror and I wouldn't suggest that class to anyone ever.  But yeah, so I had my last day on Friday and on Tuesday I have my one and only exam - which I'm actually partially confidant about- and then I won't be going into school for anything other than collecting my artwork (which I will post a picture of) and returning my school laptop.  It actually hasn't quite kicked in yet that I'm done.  I took photos and videos and will be compiling them together into one and I'll post it on YouTube.  But I'll share a little video of myself and my friends singing and just having fun on our last day and some pictures I took once I've finished writing this segment.  But yeah, I'm not so much going to miss the education and school itself but more the teachers, fun I had, and my friends.  I commented on one of my own statuses saying something which pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say.

"I can't help but think that I just wasted fourteen years of my life doing something extremely unpleasant but that I've been conditioned to associate with friends therefore tricked into thinking that I'll miss it."

Jesse (G-String) and myself.

Jesse and Hopey

Caitlin, myself and Courtney (Cookie)

Courtney, myself, and Zac (Leprechaun)

Courtney, myself, and Zac

Courtney, myself, and Zac

Courtney and myself

Jesse and myself

Jesse and myself

Jesse and myself

Josh, Courtney, myself, Zac, Jesse, and Zac

Zac, myself, and Courtney

Back Row: Cameron (Camroon/Chummy), Jesse, Zac, Josh

Front Row: Courtney and myself

Back Row: Shane, Emily, Courtney, Zac

Front Row: Jesse, myself and Justine

Back Row: Shane, Emily, Courtney, and Zac

Front Row: Jesse and myself

Tavis, and Jesse

Myself and Zac 

My feet. 

And now for a video!  

(I'll make a full length video of all the songs we did and all my photos but for now here's a classic for our group!)

Also, just an extra bonus.  Have our school mascot , Douglas, smoking a joint and getting arrested for dancing at assembly.

So sorry for that slight spam, but those pics are some of my favorites and I just had to share them.  Okay, now onto my plans for the coming few months.

So for starters I should probably say that it's my eighteenth birthday on the nineteenth of this month.  So that's exciting.  I won't be having a huge party or even drinking. It's just gonna be my close friends coming over for a tummy roast dinner then playing video games into the early hours of the morning.  With lots of cake.  But as a little birthday present, Mother Dearest has booked a tiny holiday to HONOLULU FOR TEN DAYS!  I can't even describe how blessed I am, and it gets better! Anyway, after our ten days in Honolulu we'll be travelling back to Australia and heading up to Queensland for my 'brothers' graduation from YWAM DTS.  We'll stay until the twenty second and have a Christmas party on Boxing day.  BUT IT GETS BETTER!

May next year Mother Dearest and myself and heading off on a huge European holiday featuring a Mediterranean cruise and a trip to the Sherlock Museum!  We'll also be travelling to Israel if we can to meet with the cousins.  I honestly feel so blessed to be given this opportunity to travel before having to get my life in working order. I'll be blogging when I can and posting photos and updates as our internet comes and goes and I honestly cannot wait to begin this adventure!  

So there's an update, as I said before I will post when I want and if that means I post seven times in one day, then so be it.  

I hope all you 2014 graduates the best for the future and I'm so thankful to have gone to such an amazing school.  

I almost forgot, here's my artwork. 

It doesn't look like much, I'll post individual photos later if I feel like it.

But it's taken me over sixteen weeks to get these seven pieces.

Zac is my model.  Lucky guy huh?

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca 

xxx

May The Third 2014.

Quick Apology and an Announcement.  Plus an IOU!

Okay, so I haven't posted in forever.   I'm sorry!  I've been a bit sick and I have to admit I've sort of had writers block.  I WILL post an April post tomorrow.  I started it in April but I didn't get around to finishing it, in addition you'll also be getting a March/April Favorites post because I love doing them and didn't do one for March.  So that's my Apology and my IOU to you guys. 

Now for my quick announcement; I've started up a Facebook page for my blog.  How cool is that?  It isn't much yet because I haven't posted and I've been a little bit busy with doctors appointments and just being lazy, but I promise it will become more than it currently is with time! You can go and like it here or you can click on the link itself which is here -https://www.facebook.com/thebeccatheoryblogger - I promise I'll post more in the future, I have a lot of exciting stuff coming up in my personal life and I have some big plans for my blog I just need time to a) learn the instruments I'll be playing (not literally instruments, it's just a phrase) and b) put it all together.  So share my blog around with your friends, follow, subscribe, like, +1 and yeah, just spread the word.  

Again, I'm sorry, I'll try and make it up to you all!! And please, pretty please go follow my Facebook page!! :D 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

April the First 2014: Autism Awareness Month

For those who are not aware April the first is Autism Awareness Month.  

Autism is a complex neurological disorder that typically lasts a lifetime.  The thing about Autism that many people don't understand is that it's different for each person who suffers from it.  

My mother wrote something for Autism Awareness Month three years ago and I'd like to share it.

Our Son Turns 16 This Month- Autism Awareness Month.

Finding his birth certificate and ultrasound scans stirred emotions and memories.  

It seems so long ago we caught our first glimpse.  Just one galaxy of lives speeding towards completion, speeding towards life.  His potential far greater than ours put together.  Our hopes and dreams will be his to own.  Like a shining star poised against a blue-black night, our little boy perfection in form, peace and rest. 

At warp speed the years pass.  Our Bright Shining Star blends and bends towards a galaxy we know not.  A place we don't own and don't wish to go.  Daily the struggle to bring him back on course to join in with story time, sandpit play and parties.

But his course is set, it is his own and enjoined on this journey, our hopes are dashed and dreams gone.  We alone know his potential, a myriad of shining moments his mind perceives what is, was and what could be.  This place, our world, loud calamitous, scorching, screeching, painful, just in being he finds no rest. 

In moments he is beautiful, bright and shining without malice, manipulation or cunning.  Creative, careful and caring is he.  Fireworks in the night sky his display is musical, artistic, scientific and literal.  Questions we can't answer torment his mind.  Feelings we cannot know puzzle his soul and say he is alone.  A burden too heavy for any of us, our children must carry in isolation as they alone search through life to find a friend.  

If by some means he were changed to be like us mundane, atypical at the mercy of popular opinion, fashion and ambition, we would not wish it.  Even when his actions seem bizarre, he has no guile.  When his words are harsh he does not know.  We've come too far in this journey to turn back.  He shines and makes others shine also.  He joins with others like himself and together they remind us how precious is our humanity shining bright together even in the darkness and in the night of not knowing why.

-Janette Winter

I would like to encourage all of you to get involved in this great cause and if you can donate, if not just show your support by wearing BLUE tomorrow (the second of April) for Light It Up Blue, which is the global event held for this cause.

Sorry for my absence and this short post, I have to get going but I'll try and write more about Autism Awareness Month tomorrow!! I'll also be doing a March favorites post soon and possibly uploading my very first YOUTUBE VIDEO! So keep an eye out!

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

March the Ninth 2014.

It Has Come To My Attention That I Don't Actually Fit Any Of My Bras. #Awkward

WARNING: TMI Ahead. 

Although it isn't clear the title of today's blog actually means I've been hauling out my room.  Sort of.. I have a bag full of all the clothes in my upstairs room that are both clean and dirty and I'm supposed to go through it and figure out what fits and what doesn't, but I put my socks, undies, bras, and stockings/tights in another smaller bad and when I was putting my clothes in that bag I noticed that a) all my bras were different sizes and b) none of them fitted me.   So that's bad, I'm going to have to get rid of a heap of clothes before Mother will let me get new ones, but I'm hoping this will be an excuse to go up to Hobart of Melbourne and get fitted and buy a few matching sets that aren't from Kmart.  When Father heard that I wanted matching underwear he thought it was for a 'boy' (Mother corrected him and said any guy I got with at my age wouldn't be a boy but a man...) I had to inform him that when I wear matching underwear I feel like a superhero with a costume and it's an awesome feeling! So that's been happening.  I'm going to go through those bags this afternoon, after I finish this post, and also go through the clothes in my room downstairs.  I might also tidy my room up a little so I can light candles without worrying about catching the house on fire. 

Topic Change:

On another note, last night I had a nice bath and I realized the only bath bombs I have and bath salts were Lavender and Rose and I hate both those scents so I've been looking online and, after remembering some of Tanya Burr and Zoella's blogs and vlogs, remembered a store called LUSH and decided to see if they have any stores in Australia, they do.  In fact the have one in Hobart, so Mother and I are planning on heading up there in the next few weeks to buy some nice bath products in scents I like.  Mother thinks it's strange that I hate scents like Lavender and Rose, I don't know why... I just prefer beachy scents and fruity/candy scents.  I've also been looking online for some brand candles, I found a Bath and Body Works online store that ships to Australia that has some really adorable candle scents like Red Velvet and Frosted Cupcake, and a bunch of other yummy smelling sounding scents!  So I'm going to order some of those.  

I also found a few other cute websites that sell bath products but I don't think I'll be getting anything from them so I don't see the point in mentioning them at the present point in time. 

Topic Change:

I've also made a decision, I've decided I won't blog everyday.  I will however try and blog at least 3 days a week.  I'm also going to try and start making some videos if I spend a day in town or something.  

Topic Change:

So I've been wanting to read werewolf books lately, but I've already read some of the better ones multiple times so I've been brainstorming writing my own, because they never have the things I want so I though why not write exactly what I want to read?  I know I've said this before, you know.. Started planning to write a novel and all, and I know it probably won't go far, but I really want to.  I'm honestly going to try, after I finish my outstanding pieces of homework I'm going to start writing it.  I told Leprechaun my idea and he said it was really good.  I've already thought of some really cute lines and moments and I've written them down.  I don't want to share too much in case it falls through.  But yeah, I mean I've been craving a YA Werewolf novel and none of the ones I've found besides the ones I've read over and over really have what I want.. And the protagonists and whiney and boring and the males aren't alpha at all and I admit it's a secret confession that I love alpha males... So yeah, I'm going to probably re-read one of those books tonight to fill my craving.

Topic Change: 

My hair is so soft right now!  I have it in piggy tales, I love wearing piggy tales, I don't get to do it often because it sometimes looks silly, but I just feel so happy when I have them in.  Same as when I have my hair curled.  At the moment I have piggy tales and they're partially curled, so I'm feeling pretty good! 

Topic Change:

So I've been been meaning to re-paint my nails for the past two weeks.  They've literally peeled off by themselves.. Well except for my right thumb nail.  So I'm going to paint them tomorrow after doing some work on my poem.  Even though it's coming to Autumn I want to paint them a teal blue?  I mean I need to go out and buy a plummy purple but I don't have one at the moment.  

Topic Change:

I want to start using Instagram, I mean I already use it.  But I want to actually start using it regularly and posting my own photos.  Go and follow my account @becca_theory.

Topic Change:

Update: So I've sorted through my clothes, I have my clean ones in a cupboard OUTSIDE of my bedroom, along with my pajamas.  I have a pile of clothes I no longer want or need to be fixed in the lounge room next to Mothers sewing machine.  I have a load of washing going now and when that's finished I'll go through keep and throw.  And later tonight I'll go through my underwear/bra/socks/stockings/tights pile for clean keep, dirty keep, and throw. I actually think I'll be getting rid of a lot of undies because as Mother said when I was trying to explain it to her they've lost their shape.  They aren't comfortable to wear anymore and they're sort of looking like granny pants even though they're $15 Bonds hipsters, they don't stay where they sit, they move around sometimes causing wedgies and stuff, so going to chuck a heap of those.  I'll keep maybe three that aren't too granny like for that time of the month.  Because even though it isn't required I'm always scared I'm going to ruin a nice pair of panties.  Mum also said she needs to get sized as well because she's lost a little weight, so we're going to go do that, maybe make a day out of it? Who knows, it'll be nice to go out and just spend a day with mum, get some bras and undies, go to LUSH, buy some make-up, go to a Cafe and get some cake.  So I'm hoping that'll happen, I need to finish my outstanding pieces of homework first.  Get caught up.  Hopefully it'll be before Mother and Father go off on their holiday.  

Topic Change:

So what have I been doing the past few days?  Well on Friday Leprechaun came over and we just basically did nothing for a large part of the afternoon, then we (I say we, but really all he did was peel the potatoes and sweet potato) cooked a roast lamb dinner with roasted potatoes, and mapled carrots and sweet potato, with some corn and green beans, and a fresh salad.  It was really nice and I'm proud to say I can cook a mean roast and some damn good veggies.  Leprechaun actually ended up sleeping over, he slept on the couch as per usual.  In the morning, I say morning... I mean like 10:30, or 11 or something?  Anyway, I whipped up an egg mixture for him and he cooked that while I cooked some spinach and ricotta agnolotti pasta with a five cheeses tomato pasta sauce, it was really nice and I actually had more of it (the last of it/other half of the packet) for lunch today.  I had a bath last night after we rushed Leprechaun home because he forgot he had work.  I used a rose bath bomb, it was just a generic one from the cheap stores in town, I had a coconut candle and a vanilla candle burning and I used the same shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and body butter that I mentioned in my February Favorites post which is linked HERE. Today I've mostly just written this post, played Candy Crush and organised my clothes, or whatever it is that I did.  I also watched a few YouTube videos. 

I think that's all I have to say to you guys at the moment.  Ciao.

Live long and prosper, godspeed. 

Becca.  

March the Sixth 2014.

Ball Of Anxiety In My Tummy.

Hey guys, I haven't been too great today.  I don't know why specifically... I woke up late this morning, I was allowed too, my classes didn't start until 12:45 so I woke up around 9 am and had my medication (Ritalin L.A).  After that I had a glass of Coke.  But it wasn't the Coke that made me the way I currently am, and was back then.  Anyway, I had my medication and started on my Reading Journal homework, I noticed after finishing my personal analytical response to one poet and was starting on the next that my hand was shaking, not violent shakes, just little tremors.  Now this isn't anything unusual, it happens quite a lot and not only to me but to many other people.  But also my temper had started to rise, and I was just so mad at this poet and she did nothing wrong?  I was extremely critical or her work and I wasn't even talking about her technique or anything, I was just saying that her poetry was shit, which is cruel of me.. But I couldn't help it.  Soon after that the words and lines started to sort of mess up in my head and I couldn't concentrate anymore.  By this point it was around 12:35 and I requested that Mother drove me to school.  My first class was English Writing, and we're just starting on our second poems.  While I was writing I noticed hat my hand was still tremoring, and usually after like half an hour it stops, but it hadn't but I just dismissed it.  I had to speak to Craig (my teacher) about the topic of my Character Poem and ask if doing someone so close to me was okay because my teacher last year had advised me that it wasn't a good idea.  So I went and spoke with Craig, now the person and moment that I wanted to capture was quite personal and really close to home, but not sad emotional, or overjoyed with happiness emotional, nothing that would warrant tears, and yet as I was speaking I noticed that my voice was shaking and my emotions were becoming stronger, harder to contain.  I'm not sure whether Craig noticed or not, I doubt it, but I was so worried that I would end up crying.  I had this ball of anxiety sitting my the pit of my stomach and it was almost painful, I even sent a text to Leprechaun (not that he received it till later because none of my classrooms have reception).

"My reaction to my table today isn't good... My hands are shaking.  My mind keeps going o bad thoughts..... My heart is thumping like crazy.... I feel like it's constricting." 

I sent that too him.  It was true, still partially is.  I know it has something to do with my medication, I just don't know what.  It might have something to do with the fact that I didn't eat anything at all yesterday except for some Cheezles and that I didn't have breakfast or lunch today.  But I've had food since then and it's still bad.  

Anyway, yeah, my heart was pounding, I had this ball of anxiety in my stomach, I felt like my heart was being constricted, closed up, I still do.  My hands were shaking, my eyes couldn't focus on anything, my mind was jumping all over the place.  In Graphics it was slightly better but only because I was distracted.  Even so focused on my work I could still feel my heart thumping too fast and I could feel the ball of anxiety growing, expanding.  This afternoon I tried to play it off because Camroon, Leprechaun, and Christopher Robin were all at my house, but I think Leprechaun picked up on it.  Now sitting here alone in my room I can feel my heart still constricted, I can feel this huge pit of worry, of anxiety in my stomach, I can feel my mind rushing but slowing down, and I can feel and see my hands tremoring. I hate it, I wan to immerse myself into a fictional world to escape whatever is worrying me and I can't help but feel like something bad is going to happen or is happening and I hate it.  I just want to escape it.  I'm going to go find a novel to get stuck into, or a website to get hooked on, or create scenarios in my head about happier things, or about different situations.  I should probably eat something too, all I've eaten in the last two days is some Cheezles and nuggets.  I probably didn't eat much the day before that either.... I feel like I'm on the edge of having a break down and that scares me more than anything, because one I have a break down I shut down.  I shut everyone out and I loose people close to me.  So I pray that that isn't the case.  

Also this quote has been stuck in my head all day.

"Life is a gift.  Not a right."

I wrote it on my hand but I accidentally wrote write not right.  Which was slightly amusing. 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

And remember Jesus loves you and God has a plan for you life. 

March the Second 2014.

How Do You Tell If A Lemon Is Ripe?

Okay, first order of business to be discussed is about a novel I included in my February Favorites post.  It was the novel Alienated by Melissa Landers, I have been waiting for quite a few months to read this novel, it was easily one of my most anticipated novels for 2014.  Unfortunately just a few pages in I recognized that the style of writing didn't draw me in the way I had hoped it would.  It wasn't written poorly, far from it.  I just wasn't able to relate to the characters Landers presented to me.  And personally, that's one of the main things that sells a novel to me.  Because of this I decided instead of reading the entire thing thoroughly I would simply skim read it; if I liked the ending enough I would go back and read the in-between's that I missed the first time round.  I won't lie, the novel was what I expected given that I had already read other peoples review's in preparation for reading this one.  It didn't exceed my expectations and it didn't thrill me either, that's not to say it was bad.  It was well crafted and written, and the plot line is perfectly adequate.  It just wasn't to my liking, I think I prefer a little more action and blood-lust? I send the following text to Leprechaun immediately after finished my skim-read this morning.

"Hey, so I just read Alienated.  It was relatively what I expected.  But after waiting for so long for it, I can't help but feel a little disappointed.  I didn't like the ending or the direction of the next novel.  But I'm hoping it will improve."

There were some cute parts, and I loved the human/alien interaction.  But as I said before, I think I'm a girl who prefers blood-lust to politics.  As seen above, I do intend to read the next novel, if only to see if the plot improves.  

It wasn't a novel I loved, but it was a nice light read and I still would recommend it to others if they like Alien Romance novels.  Not to mention the cover is amazing and so it's the sequels! The male protagonist, our resident Alien, was very Spock like in his observations of human interaction and behavior, but slowly he thaws so that's sweet, just an observation of mine.  

See, such a pretty cover!  It's what sold me originally.

Next order of business, I don't actually have one to be honest.  Although I did have an observation this morning while picking lemons off our tree for Father Dear's tea; how can you tell when a lemon is ripe?  Usually we tell if fruits are ripe by their flavor, if they taste sour they usually aren't ripe.  But for a fruit that's sour when ripe, how do you tell?  I know some of you will be thinking the answer is what colour it is, but that isn't right because even when they're yellow they're not always ripe..  I asked Mother Dearest what her thoughts were and she simply said that it doesn't matter if they are ripe of not, my Fathers taste buds disappeared years ago after being forced to eat horrid food under my grandmothers watch.  But my question still remains.  I'm contemplating looking it up on Google but I fear I will be left unsatisfied, much like when I looked up what the clip/clasp that is on bread bags was called (for those of you that don't know, they're called Bread Clips, how disappointing?).  So I don't think I'll do that, I'll just make a list of my theories and present them to the internet (being you lovely people) and see what you all have to say?  Or I'll get bored of such a menial task and look it up.  Now I must depart, I have a half finished poem that is due tomorrow and more poetry to read and analyse for my Reading Journal, that task also requires 3 more pages of writing.  Furthermore I want to spend the next hour wasting my time on Pinterest because I'm a procrastinator (almost wrote protagonist, although that would actually be correct.  I am the protagonist in my own life, am I not?).  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

March the First 2014.

An Apology And My February Favorites!

An Apology:

Firstly I'd like to apologise for my absence the past few days.  I haven't been sleeping well and there were some books and I just didn't end up posting.  So for that I am sorry.

February Favorites:

So there are some things I've been seriously loving this month, and I'd like to share them with you! 

Beauty, Body, and Bath:

This month I have been obsessed with Coconut scents!! I've been using Organix Nourishing Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner.  It makes my hair so soft, silky, and smooth!  And my hair smells delicious!! I've also been using Palmolive's Body Butter Coconut Scrub along with Dirty Works Coconut Body Butter.  These make my skin so smooth and smell so yummy!  Everyone near me always begin asking who smells so good and I just sit there smirking to myself! I've also got another product that would be one of my favorites this month but I didn't actually possess it (and haven't used it) until the other day when Cookie returned it.  That product is Le Tan's SPF 50+ Coconut Lotion, good for my skin and smells yummy! In the beginning of the month I didn't have the Body Butter so I was using a moisturizer, it's been my moisturizer all year actually.  It's You's Pomegranate Body Lotion.  It isn't coconut but it smells divine!  I've also been usng NU's Balance Citrus Coconut Moisturizing, Foaming Hand Wash, Enriched With Aloe Vera.  It smells yummy and fresh and actually makes me hungry so easily.

In addition to my Coconut Craze products I've also been obsessed with Formula 10.0.6's So Totally Clean Deep Pore Clenser.  I got this first back in 2012 when I went to Sydney and fell in love, it's done wonders for my skin!  I've been buying it online since because I haven't actually seen at my chemist here in Tasmania.

Books:

I've read a few books this month, most in a series, so I'll just post the first books and their's 'blurbs'.

Throne Of Glass by Sarah J. Maas.

After serving out a year of hard labor in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince.  Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition; she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin.  Her opponents are men-thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the king's counsel.  If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she'll serve the kingdom for three years then be granted her freedom.

Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilarating.  But she's bored stiff by court life.  Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts showing interest in her... but it's the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best.

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead... quickly followed by another. 

Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim?  As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined.

Raised By Wolves by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

(WARNING: If you don't like sad endings do not read the third, and final book, in this series.)

Adopted by the Alpha of the werewolf pack after a rogue wolf brutally killed her parents right before her eyes, fifteen year old Bryn knows only pack life, and the rigid social hierarchy that controls it.  That doesn't mean she's averse to breaking a rule or two.

But when her curiosity gets the better of her and she discovers Chase, a new teen locked in a cage in her guardians basement, and witnesses him turn into a wolf before her eyes, the horrific memories of her parents' murder return.  Bryn becomes obsessed with getting her questions answered, and Chase is the only one who can provide the information she needs. 

But in her drive to find the truth, will Bryn push too far beyond the constraints of the pack, forcing her to leave behind her friends, her family, and the identity she's shaped? 

Sanctum by Sarah Fine

"My plan: Get into the city.  Get Nadia.  Find a way out. Simple."

A week ago, seventeen-year-old Lela Santos's best friend, Nadia, killed herself.  Today, thanks to a farewell ritual gone awry, Lela is standing in paradise, looking upon a vast gated city in the distance -hell.  No one willingly walks through the Suicide Gates, into a place smothered in darkness and infected with depraved creatures.  But Lela isn't just anyone - she's determined to save her best friend's soul, even if it means sacrificing her eternal afterlife.  

As Lela struggles to find Nadia, she's captured by the Guards, enormous, not-quite-human creatures that patrol the dark city's endless streets.  Their all-too-human leader, Malachi, is unlike them in every way except one: his deadly efficiency.  When he meets Lela, Malachi knows something Lela doesn't -the dark city isn't the worst place Lela could end up, and he will stop at nothing to keep her from that fate.

There's also another book I want to put here even though I haven't read it yet.  I've been waiting for this book for a long time and I'm really excited to read it!  

Alienated by Melissa Landers

Two years ago, the aliens made contact.  Now Cara Sweeney is going to be sharing a bathroom with one of them.  

Handpicked to host the first-ever L'eihr exchange student, Cara thinks her future is set.  Not only does she get a free ride to her dream college, she'll have inside information about the mysterious L'eihrs that every journalist would kill for.  Cara's blog is about to skyrocket.

Still, Cara isn't sure what to think when she meets Aelyx.  Humans and L'eihrs have nearly identical DNA, but cold, infuriatingly brilliant Aelyx couldn't seem more alien.  She's certain about one thing, though: no human boy is this good looking.

But when Cara's classmates get swept up by anti-L'eihr paranoia, Midtown High School suddenly isn't safe anymore.  Threatening notes appear in Cara's locker, and a police officer has to escort her and Aelyx to class.

Cara finds support in the last person she expected.  She realizes that Aelyx isn't just her only friend; she's fallen hard for him.  But Aelyx has been hiding the truth about the purpose of his exchange, and its potentially deadly consequences.  Soon Cara will be in for the fight of her life- not just for herself and the boy she loves, but for the future of her planet.

TV Shows:

Even though I've only watched one episode, I'm obsessed with CW's new show Star-Crossed.  IMDb's page for this awesome new show is as follows: About an epic romance between a human girl and an alien boy when he and eight others of his kind are integrated into a suburban high school 10 years after they landed on Earth and were consigned into an internment camp. That doesn't tell you much, the show is spectacular and even though there's a lot of comments and reviews saying that despite it looking good they don't think it will be picked up for a season two, I think it's going to be spectacular!  There is so much potential!  I highly suggest everyone to go and check it out, especially if you're into sci-fi love stories or like Jennifer L. Armentrout's books from her series Lux (Also a really good series, go check it out, the first book is called Obsidian).

Websites:

Okay, I may have said this before, in fact I'm sure I have, but I'm obsessed with Pinterest!  It is such a versatile website and it's so easy to use, and so much fun!  The Wikipedia page for this wonderful website describes it as the following: Pinterest is a visual discovery tool that people use to collect ideas for theit different projects and interests.  People create and share collections (called "boards") of visual bookmarks (called "Pins") that they use to do things like plan tripe and projects, organize events or save articles and recipes.  It's just such a great, easy website.  You can plan holiday's, weddings, parties, you can create a style board, it's just such a versatile and useful website!  Go check it out!

Pinterest

Becca's Account

Apps:

I'm not a big app user.  I use the Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GMail,  YouTube and Kindle apps.  But recently I've really started using four other apps.  One book app, two 'useful' apps, and one gaming app.

The book app isn't actually from any app store, I don't even know where leprechaun got it, but he downloaded it from the internet onto my phone for me.  It's called 10000+ Free eBook Reader.  It is amazing, it has so many books just waiting to be downloaded and read!  And it's free, takes about 30 seconds to a minute for each book to download and you can read anywhere!  

The two 'useful' apps are so useful!  One is (sorry Gentlemen) a Period Tracker.  It's so simple to use and very helpful!  It's called P Tracker and it doesn't just allow you to record when your period starts and when the next one is due (etc..) but it also allows you to record how you feel and to make your own comments about things regarding your period.  There are heaps of these apps available and not all will be what you're looking for, so it's good to look one that suits your needs.  There are ones available that tell you when you're fertile if you're trying for a baby, and tell you when it's safe to do the frick-frack and so on.  Apps like this are just so useful and even though it's gross to admit it's saved my underwear! 

The other 'useful' app is a timetable/school app.  It's called My Class Schedule and it allows me to put in my timetable, when specifically my classes start and finish each day, who my teacher is, where the classroom is, and I can put in what homework I have and when it's due.  I can also put in my teachers details such as e-mails, phone numbers, and I do believe I can enter where their office's are.  It also, helpfully, turns my phone on silent when i'm in class, so I never have to worry about my phone going off in class! 

The last app I've been using is a gaming app called Free Fall.  It's actually a Disney app for the movie Frozen.  I haven't got much to say except it's really fun and annoying, and slightly addictive but not as addictive as stupid Flappy Bird. Just a good time waster in-between classes.  

Songs:

I don't remember what artists I liked at the beginning of the month, my taste in music changes so often, but at the moment I'm loving three artists.  Daughty, Landon Austin, and Within Temptation. All three artists are different (although Daughty and Landon are slightly similar compared to Within Temptation) and interesting.  My favorite songs by each are as follows:

Daughty: Waiting For Superman, and Baptized.

Landon Austin: Superman, and Once In A Lifetime.

Within Temptation: All I Need, and Shot In The Dark.

Candles:

I can't specifically say what brand my candles are because they're just generic ones from my local 'cheap' store.  I've been using scents such as Strawberry, Coconut and Vanilla, and French Pear.  They're really nice smells and if you see these scents in a bath and body shop or something I highly suggest getting them.  They make my room, and bathroom, smell spectacular! 

February the Twenty Fifth 2014.

Secret Desires and Dreams.

I have a confession.  One of the things I want out of life, in fact the most important thing I want to receive in this life, is a family.  Not like a mother, or father, or brother.  I already have those.  I'm talking about starting my own family.  Having children of my own.  

I know this may not surprise many people, as a female it's ingrained in us, even in today's society where women's roles are so much more than just staying home and looking after the house, that becoming a mother and having our own family is basically end goal.  

But it was never like that for me, my parents lived forty years never wanting to have a family, or giving up the idea of having a family of their own.  Because of this, and the lessons I was taught as a child I grew up knowing that my 'end goal' would be something bigger, something more than just having a family.  And, yeah, whatever, if I had kids along the way that was great.  So unlike many other girls who have this desire, mine wasn't centered from childhood influences.  I don't even know specifically when I realized that I wanted a family of my own so much.  After all I am only 17 years old, and I shouldn't be thinking about things like this yet, because rationally speaking it's a far off event for me.  

But somehow it has become one of my biggest secret desires.  

If I told my friends that I wanted to be a mother I get the distinct feeling they would scoff and say that I'd be a terrible mother.  Not because I'm abusive or anything, but simply because I tend to forget to feed my pets, myself, I'm not good at organizing myself, and I'm immature.  But what I think they fail to see is that I am naturally very maternal.  I mother and smother them.  Whether they know it or not.  In my mind when I hear them say they're going to parties I go into 'mama bear' mode and I start telling them to be careful, to not do this, or that.  When they're upset or panicking I try and talk them through it, I try and help them.  Not because I want to, frankly interfering with such things is so bad for my own anxiety.  But because NOT helping them out of it feels so wrong and if I didn't I would feel like I was failing them.  This is all just instinctual.  And I know that this is ingrained in most women.  Probably something to do with our hormones.  Not sure.  But the fact of the matter is that my personal 'end goal' isn't to become an author, to travel the world, to make a difference in the world.  It's to have children of my own.. And furthermore I don't want to wait until I'm in my late thirties to have them.  

I don't want them growing up fearing that their mother, or father, won't be there for them.  That their father won't be there to give them away.  That their mother won't be there to help with their first child.  I wouldn't want them to have the same fears I have with my parents.  My parents turn 60 this year.  I'm only 18 this year, and the possibility that my dad won't walk me down the aisle, or that I won't have my mother there to help me through my first pregnancy scares the hell out of me. Not because I need them there, but because if they aren't, that means they're dead and that they missed out on being parent's-in-law, and grandparents.  They are old, not matter what I say to them and these possibilities scare the shit out of me.  I don't want my children to have those fears.  I want to have them in my early to mid twenties.  I want them to know that I'll be there for them throughout their whole life.  I want to be alive to see them have children of their own.  And if God allows, to see my grandchildren have children.    I know that this probably won't happen, especially given that I don't want to have sex until marriage and I'm not exactly dating anyone, and in all honesty I don't think I will until God tells me it's the right time.  That the person before me is the one I will spend the rest of my life with.  

So basically my secret desire is to get married fairly young and have children in my twenties.  To have family of my own.  A place of my own.  I get the feeling that many people will read this and think 'that's what everyone wants' but I don't know.  I feel like my desire for this, this life, is more than just desire.  It's what is meant to be, that I was made to be a mother.  That it's part of my destiny.  And I am becoming a big believer in destiny, although I think I always was.  I'm just coming to understand it better now.  

This is all not to say that I don't want to achieve other things in my life.  Women have so many opportunities now, and just because I become a mother doesn't mean that I have to give up all the other possibilities.  I still want to travel, and write for the pleasure of others and to have a voice that is heard.  And I can still do those things if I become a mother.  It's just that, becoming a mother is the biggest goal of mine.  I want to be there for a child from day one, I want to hold that baby, the one that myself and my husband created, I want to cherish every moment and watch he or she grow and develop and eventually become a young adult who has their own views and opinions.  There is so much beauty in watching a child grow, visibly seeing that, documenting that.  I want that.  I want to be there for my son or daughter through scratches, bruises, broken hearts, bad grades, lost friends, hard lessons.  It's just something I feel, in the deepest parts of my soul, that I was made to do.  

Also, I think that maybe my desire to have a family young is so that my parents will still be alive to see me married, and the see their grand children.  I know that 60 isn't that old.. But when I'm twenty they'll be 62.  When I'm thirty they'll be 72.  When I'm 40 they'll be 82.  When I'm 50, they'll be 92.  And they both have health issues so I have no idea how long I have left with them.  That scares me but I've grown up with only one grandparent and she hates me and I missed out on so much because my grandparents weren't there throughout my childhood, and I don't want my children to miss out on all that.  

Also on a similar note: I'm a sentimental, control freak, who both smothers and mothers her friends, is slightly possessive, can be caring and strong when needed, and can be a huge bitch is you ever cross me and mine.  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.  

Becca.

February - March To-Do List 2014.

Topics I Want To Discuss In The Future.

• The Improbability Of Infinity. 
• Albert Einstein and his Philosophies. 
• Isaac Newton - "Objects at rest will stay at rest, and objects in motion will stay in motion." 
• My theories and thoughts on destiny.
• My thoughts on today's schooling system.
• My thoughts on homosexuality and gay marriage rights.  
• My obsession with interior design, decorating, and organizing.  
• My views on abstinence. 
• My increased organisation and communication with school work and teachers this year. 
• My honest aspirations and goals.
• Enlightening Quotes to live by.
• My Future Children. 

February the Twenty Fourth 2014.

Busy Reading, But I Did Blog Today.  TA-DA!  So No Broken Promise.  Woo.

Becca.

February the Twenty Third 2014.

MIA, Cheezles, and Something Else I'll Think Of To Post.

MIA:

Firstly for those of you who are uneducated M.I.A stands for Missing In Action.  In this situation I mean I haven't been very active in my posts.  So sorry about that.  

The reason is, and I feel like I'm making excuses because that's what I do but this is genuine, for the past two or three days I've has really bad headaches.  Not to the point of nausea but I've had so many pain tablets and drunk so much water, it's crazy... Anyway, and the headaches have just made thinking enough to write a long post very difficult because my head would start thumping and I would just have to close my eyes and get a damp cloth for my forehead to relieve the pain slightly.  So yeah, that's been happening.  Thankfully my headache has, for the most part, been absent today.  Which I am very thankful for.  This may be TMI but I also think when my period is coming to an end I get regular headaches?  Mother mentioned that for my last three periods when thy're ending that she noticed I've had bad headaches, so maybe that's the cause?  Or staring a a computer screen too long?

Cheezles: 

Do you ever just get down right ridiculous cravings?  I do. Might be a female thing?  Never heard a guy say he's craving something but that may just be because guys don't outright say it or something?  Anyway, so a few hours ago I saw Cheezles, or like ring versions of Cheetos or whatever they are in countries other than Australia.  Anyway, ever since I'VE REALLY WANTED SOME!  I mean, I'm like in a constant state of wanting Cheezles... But I was, and still am, craving them.  I actually got out of bed to go and ask Father to drive me down to Coles to let me go in and buy some.  Clearly he said no and Mother has been drinking so I didn't even bother asking her.  I asked Leprechaun and he informed me that he had one Cheezle and that he was going to eat it and not go and get me some.  So that was rude. Anyway.  So I want Cheezles.  Mother said that when I'm older and pregnant that Cheezles will either be my biggest craving or the food I avoid the most.  Which both excited and horrified me.  

Other Random Stuff That I Am Going To Discuss:

So I've been listening to songs by Within Temptation and Landon Austin lately.  Really loving All I Need by Within Temptation and Superhero by Landon Austin and Luke Conrad.  I just really like them.  The styles are so different it's actually funny though.  Also I've been spending a lot of time on Pinterest lately.  I've pinned so much stuff!  I've been adding stuff to my food and wedding boards mostly this weekend which is great.  I really love how you can plan things on there and create different boards to accommodate what you want to do.  It's just such a versatile website! 

I've sort of neglected my homework this weekend.  I had to write two pages about a poet and some of her poems and what I liked and didn't like and thought worked and so on, and I didn't do that.  I'm going to do it during my free tomorrow.  I would do it in the morning, but I missed my chance on re-painting my nails today and they're really bad at the moment so I'm going to have to do that tomorrow so they don't get the chance to break throughout the day.  My nails are really weak, I'm pretty sure drinking milk is supposed to help but I like my milk hot and with chocolate and I prefer to buy it and I just never have money and cold milk sometimes makes me feel ill so not sure how I'm going to get more milk into me, if milk even helps with nails strength?  It helps with teeth, bones, and stuff?  Nails are bone, aren't they?  Or are they just tougher skin?  Like what even?  Anyway, I also was supposed to work on my poem for English Writing today but we had a guest over for lunch and I just totally blanked.. Oh yeah, my parents have volunteered to host a Sunday lunch every fortnight for people who go to their church that don't have much family.  Actually a really sweet idea.  Anyway, I also had an article that I wanted to perfect and I was going to start reading a book for school but after reading the first page I put it down because either it wasn't interesting enough or the fact that it's required for school, and when it's required for school I always have trouble reading them.  Also it's a book set in Australia and written by and Aussie author and I kind of hate most books set in Australia.  No idea why.  I just really hate them?  Furthermore it's about Aboriginal people and, even though I have met some lovely Aboriginal people, a majority of them that I have met are rude, vile, and when I was in WA they mostly tried to feel me up when they saw I was alone.  So I don't have great experiences with them, makes feeling compassionate to them in these novels harder....  As I said, I know some really lovely Aboriginal people, this was just the majority from where I lived.  And from what my Mother has told me it's the dame in Melbourne and Sydney.  So that's very disappointing.  Anyway, I better get to bed early.  Although I'm already in bed?  Not the point, I should try to go to sleep early.  I need to wake up early, shave, do my nails, make-up, hair, buy some Cheezles and vanilla coke, get to school in time for 10:25.  That doesn't sound like a lot given that i wake up around 6:45, but I procrastinate A LOT in between tasks.  So yeah, better crash.  

Night guys, I prey that you all have sweet dreams.  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Twenty-Second 2014.

Headache, Pinterest, and The Vampire Diaries.

I've had a massive headache the past few days and I still have it so lets keep this short.

I've been obsessed with Pinterest lately.  I highly suggest it to everyone.

I've been obsessed with The Vampire Diaries even though I've only ever watch episode one.  I've been watching the little 'clips' on YouTube and it looks so good but honestly I don't think I would actually like it...

Also, I watched the first episode of Star-Crossed from the CW network, it's a new teen drama but it's about aliens and it looks like it's going to be really good.  Only the first episode has aired so not long catch-ups.   Go watch it, check it out.  It's so worth it, I wasn't sure at first but I'm convinced.  It's going to be good!

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

February the Twenty First 2014.

Nodding Off.

Sorry, no post again today.  I'm tired, feeling icky, and don't want to write at the moment. 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

February the Twentieth 2014. (Personal)

PERSONAL:  My Prayers.  

*DISCLAIMER:  This post isn't actually for anyone to read, this blog is my diary and these are thoughts I wanted to write out.  I don't actually want anyone to read them.  So please ignore this post. *

Dear Lord,

I come to you today as your loyal servant, as your child, as one of your disciples.  I come to you because I love you, I believe in you, and I trust in you, but I have no idea how deep that all runs.  I don't know if I believe that because it was what I was taught or if it's what I learnt by myself.  I know you exist, I know angels exist and I know miracles are true.  These are things I know.  But Lord, I don't understand any of it.  I come to you for guidance, for understanding. I'm writing this down because I feel I best express my emotions and what I'm trying to say, when I say it here.  I'm not writing this for the benefit of others, or to force your way upon them.  I'm writing it here because this is something I want a record of, something I want to be able to look back at.  Back to my prayer, Lord, my whole family has come to let in your love, they speak to you in tongues and understand so much more than I fear I'm capable of.  I don't think I have the capability of understanding your words, and what it all means by myself, I need a guide, a mentor.  Someone to help me find my way, find my way to you Lord.  I recognize that I haven't 'accepted you' the same way my parents and brother have.  Lord, I don't understand how to give you my life, I don't know how I'm supposed to do that.  I know if I went to church I would probably find out, or I could ask, but Lord that environment scares me.  Being around so many people that prefer to speak than observe terrifies me.  Lord, I know that I have to put in the effort to come to understand The Bible, and I know that it takes commitment for one to hand their life over, even though I believe my life is already in your hands, and I know that I haven't taken the initiative to take the steps to find my way or to receive guidance from someone.  I know these things, and I know a lot of my fears and my procrastination can be solved just by putting myself in the right frame of mind, but my frame of mind changes so often I don't even know how to control that to be able to take charge of my life.

Lord, I know what's to come.  I know that The End Times are coming and that you will return and that the true believers will receive Rapture.  I know that what proceeds this is the Seven Years Of Tribulation.  I know that more Jewish people will die in this upcoming war than that of the Holocaust because they will be blamed.  I know and I think I understand this Lord, and I know that I don't want to be here when it happens.  I know it could happen in 50 years, or it could happen in 3 months.  I know time isn't something we have much of.  But the truth is I don't know these things, this is what I've been told and taught and I don't know any different.  But I believe it's true.  I believe you will be coming back soon Lord, and I believe that, although I am a little late, I need to find my way to you before it's too late.  As a child I didn't understand that I had to find you on my own, I thought that if I just.. I don't know.. I just thought because I was covered as a child I would be my entire life and I wouldn't have to put in an effort.  I know that sounds silly, but I didn't understand.  But I get it now.  I get that to be saved, to be covered by your love and guidance that I have to be independent, that I have to put in the initiative to come to you, to understand what's to come.  But even knowing that Lord, I know me.  I know that this thought, this desire to be.... To be yours, might go away and be replaced with my mindless obsessing with fictional characters, or celebrities.  Silly things and idols that don't actually hold much importance to me, mindless things that occupy my thoughts when you could be occupying them.  I know that this will likely happen, and that I'm just like this now because of what mum was telling me earlier.  But I don't want that to be the case.  I want to find you.  I want to be able to spread the majesty of you love to tell my friends about your greatness.  I want to be able to help them see the light and come to find you Lord.

I have no idea what I've said, but I know you understand what I need.  And I know that what I think I need and what you know I need are probably different, and that's why I want you to guide me.  Guide me to the right path.  To my destiny.  I don't know if I'm meant to be taken with the true believers when the time comes, I don't know what tasks you have set for me and what you want me to achieve.  Only you know that.  And I trust you.  I still don't know what I'm saying.  Lord, I would like to be able to help my friends.  I would like to be able to save them when the time comes.  They're both broken, and they've both made mistakes and still are making them, and I fear for their souls.  I know I can't push something onto them, I can't change who they are, but Lord I just know that if they came to see your wonder they would start to heal.  Their wounds would bind together and they would become stronger.  But I know they won't accept you until the time is right, and Lord I don't know why but I feel like I am the person that's supposed to bring them to you.  This sounds so silly..

Lord, I come to you today, as you servant, your child, and your disciple.  I come to you begging for guidance, for help.  I know I have a destiny, my mother knows I have a destiny, I know I have Sight and that mum took it away.  I know that there is a role I am to play and I don't know how to make the first move



Lord,

I come to you today as your child, your servant, and as your disciple.  I wrote a prayer before this where I asked for guidance to find you.  But I think I'm just starting to realize that I have already found you and that I just need to make the first steps to joining you.  I know and recognize that you are the one true Messiah and that your love is almighty and powerful, that you died for our sins and that you will come back.  Soon.  I trust in you Lord when I say I put my life in your hands, I mean it.  I am your pawn for whatever is to come.  Use me, my destiny is written by you and I know you will help me find that.  I know that whatever is to come you will be by my side.  Lord I admit I do doubt sometimes, I don't know why?  Even when I doubt I know that you are real, and when I doubt and can't even explain what it is that I'm doubting.  I've seen things that make it hard to even think about doubting you, so I suppose that maybe it's the Devil playing tricks with my mind.  Trying to sway me.  Lord I don't know why but I feel, I feel it so strongly, that I have an important role.  But I feel like I need an understanding, and understanding of you and your word, before I am allowed to take these first steps.  And Lord, I want to understand, at least I think I want to.  I have the desire to know.  But I don't think I'm capable of taking the initiative to learn that by myself, and Lord I know you already know this but I just don't think I could go to church to understand this.  I don't feel safe or comfortable in church environments.  I don't like how the people talk instead of observe, how they talk mindlessly about nothing of importance and.. I don't know.. I can't explain it.  Lord I'm crying.  I've been crying this whole time because even though I've found you I don't know how to get to you.
Lord,

I come to You now, your child, your servant, your disciple.  I come to You seeking guidance.  Lord I've essentially been preying all afternoon.  I've written this almost four times now just trying to word it right.  I know that how I word this doesn't matter, that You already know, that You probably knew before I did.  I come to You today asking for guidance on my path to not only find, but also accept Your righteousness.  I have believed in You my whole life, my Sight as a child allowed me to see part of Your world, and I know You are real.  or at least I think in my heart of hearts I know You are real.  And I know I sometimes pointlessly doubt, and I think that it's not because I doubt You but because the Devil is playing tricks with my mind, because I have no reason to doubt your existence.  But I know that believing in you and following you are two different things, and that I would like to do both.  I would like to follow my parents, and brothers, footsteps and invite you into my heart.

Oh gosh I don't know what I'm saying Lord.

I want to be with you Lord, I want to be your disciple, I want to help others, I don't know what I want.

I want what my parents have.

I want you.

Amen.

February the Nineteenth 2014.

Blogging In The Morning:

I'm really just not feeling it today, I feel crap.  My jaw is killing me, no idea why.  Might have something to do with fudge?  I feel antisocial and crabby.  I sort of want to bitch at everyone I come in contact with.  So that's great.  I don't want to go to school, I mean, I'll have a different outlook once I'm there.  But in my own heart and mind I'll just want to be back in bed sleeping and not feeling any of it.  I don't get cramps like other girls during this point in the month.  I sometimes do, but not often.  So It's not cramps that are making me feel shit.  It's just, I'm not sure if bloated is the right word? Either which way.  I'm not keen for today.

Blogging At Night:

So today wasn't too bad, I was more bitchy than normal to be honest.. Re-read Walking Disaster by Jamie McGuire and fell in love with Travis Maddox all over again! Cookie is currently reading Beautiful Disaster which is the first book in the series and is in the female protagonists point of view (the second novel is in the male protagonists POV) so we've been sort of fangirling together.. Some of the texts I've sent her this afternoon include:

B: "Mmmm Travis Maddox is such a babe!  I prefer reading in his POV and its all so.... Asdfghjkl!!! Just so damn hot and swoon worthy!"

B: "I seriously want a Travis Maddox.  Or any of the Maddox brothers to be honest."

C: "I agree :)"

B: " I know :)"

B: "But damn.  I feel like I want to say 'yum' but that's slightly out of character for me."

C: "No it's not Monster :)"

B: "Then YUM !!! ;)"

C: "Yes he is :) xxx"

B: "I'm like all smiley and giggly and ehh because he is so fricking hot...... :) xxx"

B: "Ehhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Sa caute!!!!! Me wanty my own Maddox!!! Now!"

So that's how my afternoon transpired.  I have a hair cut appointment tomorrow around ten then my classes start around 10:30, so that's going to be a bit of a rush.  I'm not really looking forward to school tomorrow.  I just sort of want to sleep.  I think I'm over that positive about this school year phase.   Anyway,  Travis Maddox is a total babe!  I highly recommend both books!  Like, go read them.. Now! It's sort of late and I'm not planning on writing a big post so I'm just going to leave this hear and try and fall asleep early.  Also, I missed dinner again and my right side jaw hurts when I move it and one of the brackets on my braces on the left side feels like it's had the wire come out, but it hasn't.  So basically nothing is wrong with it, it just hurts like a bullet wound to some unimportant body part.  Probably somewhere with a lot of fat?  No idea.  Whatever, just go with it, it didn't make any sense to say it hurt like a bitch?  

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca. 

TOPIC OPEN FOR DISCUSSION

SEND IN ME YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THE FOLLOWING TOPIC.  AND IF YOU HAVE THEM, STORIES TOO.  YOU CAN REMAIN ANONYMOUS. 

Send them to me at: thetroublesandwoesofabookworm@gmail.com

Okay, so the topic I want to discuss is Abstinence In Youth.  Send in your stories either pro or con.  Your opinions, no matter what they are, your thoughts, whatever.  It doesn't matter you age, gender, or if you're a virgin or not.  Just send it all in.  I want your input.  

(Please title all e-mails as Abstinence In Youth and at the end of the e-mail declare whether you would like to remain anonymous, use a fake name or go by your real name.  I will be publishing this piece here [on my blog] and using it in my Journalism class.) 

Please contribute, you don't have to but it would really be appreciated.  

Becca.

February the Eighteenth 2014.

Birthdays.

Hey guys,

now I don't know about you but I'm crap at buying birthday presents for people.  Christmas, and Mothers Day, and Fathers Day, and Valentines, and whatever, are all easy because the stores sell stuff for you to give that are season specific.  But birthdays occur all over the place and when they're close friends you feel you're expected to really put in a lot of effort.  But it's hard to get meaningful gifts when you're in your teens.  You're goring through different phases and you tend not to be very open with those close to you so it's hard to know if you're choosing the right gifts.  Like currently, I had no idea what to get Cookie for her 18th birthday that's coming up.  I managed to get three or four items together that I think are appropriate for such an event but I honestly had no idea.  The thoughts going through my head when I was brainstorming ideas (and yes I brainstorm gift ideas) were along the lines of "Do I get her a 18th specific present, like a champagne glass with a glittery 18 and butterfly on it?"  and "Should I get her something sentimental, something she can pass on to her children when she has them?" all the way to "Should I just get her food?  Everyone loves food?".  I had no idea what to get her, I decided to go with my gut and take the sentimental route.  I am a very sentimental person and I believe that on special birthdays that mark the beginning of a period (16 -proper teenage years, 18- legally an adult, 21- can drink in US and UK, 50, etc.) you should just receive bits and bobs you should receive gifts that have sentimental value and can be passed along to your children, whether on their same birthday or on another special birthday/event such as graduation or something.  I'm not sure where I adopted this idea given that my parents aren't very sentimental people despite the amount of photos and items in their memory boxes?  

Anyway, so this raises my question.. What would you want to receive for your eighteenth birthday?  Or your sixteenth, or twenty first, or fiftieth?  I personally would want to receive sentimental gifts, gifts that I can pass along to my children, and they can pass along to theirs.  I think that's a beautiful thing, a tradition that used to be normal but is sort of lost now.  In fact I can specifically say some of the things I would like to receive for my eighteenth.  I would like to receive a copy of the complete collection of stories, poems, and short stories of Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne.  We used to have a copy of this when I was a child but as far as we know it's been lost in all the moving we've done in the past five years.  Anyway, my dad used to read me a different story from it every night, in fact I think he only read a page or two each night until I nodded off?  But those stories were what I grew up to, that book was the first book I read from once I learnt how to read and the stories I remember have stayed with me, they make me smile [the memories of reading with Father] when I'm sort of sad, and I would just love to have the original copy or if that's not possible a new copy so I can re-read them whenever, and read them to my children when the time comes, then they can read them to their children.  I would also like a Purity Ring.  I actually wanted one for my sixteenth birthday but I was too shy to ask my parents for one and I didn't want to face the criticism I would receive at school for staying abstinent, so I left it.  But I regret that now and would really like one for my eighteenth.  

I just asked my parents what they received for their eighteenth birthday, my Mother said she received a few silver necklaces and pendents and rings and stuff and a suitcase.  Back in her times this was a big deal, I think the pendant and necklace I currently wear were actually hers from then that I took?  And she also informed me that I would be receiving the suitcase for my eighteenth.  When I asked my Father he sort of laughed and informed me that he didn't receive anything of importance for his eighteenth.  I was sort of shocked until I remembered that he was probably in England when he turned 18 and over there and in America as well 21 is the birthday of importance and independence not 18.  So I asked him what he received for his 21st birthday and he told me "A key.".  I was slightly confused until I remembered this old wooden key I used to see lying around the place in our home in Western Australia.  It was about the length of an adult males foot, was wooded, had an engraved '21st' on it and was signed by the people who attended his birthday or something.  It used to be a symbol, like the key of independence, but now given that most teenagers receive their independence once they get their P's receiving this 'key' isn't as sentimental or meaningful.  I'm not sure if I'd want to receive one, I would loose it and to be honest the idea doesn't hold much appeal to me, much like the other '18th" specific presents like glasses, or I don't know.. Other stuff?  I just don't like it when it has the age on it unless it was a photo frame.  And even then, it would just end up cluttered on my desk or something?  

So I went to the internet and asked what my friends would want to receive for their 18th birthdays, or what they did receive.  

Cookie said she would like to have a working car.  She currently has a  VW Beetle, but her dad has decided to 'fix it up' and to be honest it looks like it's currently in some scary car horror movie... And she's able to go for her P's on her actual birthday.  So she would like to receive a working car.  

Leprechaun said he would want books.  Nothing specific, nothing sentimental, nothing of much value.  Just the same presents he received for his 17th birthday and will receive for his 19th.  

Dotty (another male friend of mine, but unlike The Nerd he is stationed in WA) said he would want a car too.  But said if it was from a friend, jacks or vodka (basically alcohol).

A Facebook 'friend' said he'd probably like to receive books and 'stuff'.  

Another Facebook 'friend' said she'd like to receive Visa cards, or new electronics, but mostly money so she could go shopping with her friends and have a blast and make some memories. 

Yet another Facebook 'friend' said she'd like a laptop, in preparation for College (obviously stationed in America), for her 16th she would want a car, 21st she would go out drinking and receive alcohol. 

G-String said he'd either like a sentimental gift, or a bottle of jacks.

So basically this whole modern generation isn't as sentimental as the past ones were.  Or maybe I just value the older values (can I say that, is that right?) more than the modern values. G-String also said he doesn't drink alcohol, that it's just something to receive.  I don't even understand that?  If your 18 and can legally buy yourself alcohol (in Australia) wouldn't you want to go and get it yourself?  I don't know.  I'm not up with the times or whatever. 

I can't remember what the beginning of this post is but I feel I should start to wrap it up before I start dribbling shit.... So comment below what you would want to receive on these 'special' birthdays or what you did receive, I would honestly love to hear from all of you! So please comment below, subscribe or whatever, +1 this, share my blog with your friends, and give me some suggestions on what I can discuss and what I can do to improve my blog! 

Thank you for reading!

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.

[I sort of lost my flow with this one, I'm really sorry about that.  I started writing this about three hours ago, and yeah, just sorry about that.]