Confessions
(I just finished writing this post and I can't remember for the life of me why I decided to title this as Confessions but I'm not changing it now so just pretend it makes sense okay?)
Okay, so I have been a bit MIA lately.. Sorry about that.. I wish I could say I haven't been doing anything but I've actually been doing stuff.. I'll do a short summery before I get onto today's business.
Okay, first of all I bought two really pretty new lipsticks and this gorgeous blush and some other stuff. I bought some pretty ribbons for my hair. I found brown book coverings and some ribbon for my school books. Leprechaun and myself went to church -I actually sort of enjoyed that but it really made my anxiety spark being around so many people I didn't know who were trying to talk to us so I'm thankful Leprechaun was there to do the talking. Australia had Australia Day and all I did was go to church then come home and sleep. Today was the grade 12's day to get school books, timetables, re-register for the year, and get our ID photos but I missed out, tomorrow is the elevens turn but the day after is for those who missed out today so I'll be going in then. Hmm, what else? I think that's all?
Okay, so I just wanted to apologize for not being here, after I didn't post that first day I just sort of got lazy and couldn't be bothered. Bad of me, I know. However I used the time I usually spend writing up these posts to create a 'Game Plan' for what I want to do. It may just be a spur of the moment idea but that doesn't mean I still can't plan it. What am I walking about? Well the other night I had a dream, I opened my own bookshop and above it I had my own apartment. It was a really cute bookshop, warm, inviting, cozy. There were lots of little places to just sit and read, there were second hand books along with new books, there was a little cafe, and a children's corner. I've always sort of wanted to run my own business so I could work when I wanted to and not be confined by hours set by others -that's also the reason I want to be a novelist. So I used the website Pinterest to create a mini plan. I've written up more of my plan elsewhere but I just thought it was such a cute idea. So that happened, oh and the bookshop was called Becca's Little Bookshop and Cafe. Yep.
I had something else to say.. Give me a moment and I'll remember it I'm sure..
I'll get back to that thought in a while.. Anyway so today I was actually feeling really down.. It might just be because [and males I warn you what I'm about to say may mortify you so read the next few words at your own risk] I've got my period and I'm more hormonal but somehow I think it's more than that. I just feel like everything we do is pointless? Not just me necessarily... Most things I do are pointless? But the human race in general.. Somehow saying that has made me want to go travelling.
OH that's what I wanted to tell you all! Next year my Mother, Father, and myself might be going to Israel and I get to meet my crazy aunt and my shy cousins! And I might be getting baptized in the Dead Sea and the man who's leading the tour is the man who married my parents! How cool is that! And after that I'm thinking of heading to Europe for a holiday on my own. Not sure about that one yet. But I'm just so thrilled at the prospect of going overseas and meeting my family, it's actually quite a risk given how things are over there and my religion but Mother is positive we'll be fine!
Also, I've been trying to write a book.. It's the one I mentioned the other week but I've been brainstorming and planning and it's looking good but I've done this before and I'm pretty certain that I'll give up within a few weeks just like I did with the other one. But it's nice to dream for a few moments isn't it?
Although this concept is a lot less complicated than the other novel I was attempting to write. Or maybe, depending on how you look at it, it's more complicated? Either way this concept is easier for me to grasp onto and develop and morph. So I'm excited to keep working on that. I've been thinking about what I want to do in regards to education after Grade Twelve and I'm thinking of going to TAFE and doing three courses related to Accounting, Business, and Librarian work. They're the sort of certificates I would need to start my own business and because of my ADHD and Anxiety I don't think I would survive at University... So on the topic of school, mine starts on the fifth of February. I'm really excited! I've missed school and I have some wonderful classes and I have my favorite teacher again this year! I'm hoping I don't have my least favorite teacher for one of my English classes though.. So when I start at school I'll be posting a lot more and have a lot more to say, I'll be taking my laptop to school this year so I'll be able to post during my breaks and in class and so on so that'll be great for me. There's even a chance that this blog can be included in my Media Production class and then I can technically work on this blog as part of a project and I'm going to be able to make my own backgrounds and icons and so on in Graphic Design and I'll be going creative writing in English Writing so I'll be posting some stories and I feel so excited about this year. I'll probably be wishing for holidays back after a week of being back but I just have a feeling that this year is going to be good.
Do you ever feel like that? Like you just have a feeling that a lot of wonderful things are going to be happening in the near future? Also, in the next few days I'll be going for my L plate test. It's just an online test, I've done the practice one too many times to count so I'm sure I'll pass when the time comes, so I'm getting my license this year. I'm going to try and find a way to gain a substantial income to save up for certain things I desire in the future such as travelling and fuel and adventuring. And I have some wonderful classes lined up and they may be hard but I'm sure I'll enjoy them and I'm going to work my butt off to get the best grades I can, and I just feel so positive about this year. I want to take risks, enjoy life, grab opportunities that come my way and make the best of things. So yeah, feeling positive about this year and where it'll lead me. At the end of this year I'll legally be an adult so I guess this feels like making the best of my childhood. I don't want to be going out and getting drunk or anything reckless like that. I want to go do things like canoeing and going to local events and even though I'm scared of heights (not crazily I'm just scared of leaving the ground and falling) I really want to go bungee jumping! Which is totally ridiculous but something I really want to do! I know a lot of people don't like the idea of actually having a job but the idea of me being stuck behind a counter in a office for the rest of my life is mortifying I want to travel like my parents did. I want to see where the world leads me (I still want to open a bookstore but that can happen when I've started to settle down and stopped going on adventures). You know something else I've always wanted to do? Go swimming near a waterfall! Go swimming in a lagoon, or river, or lake, or something! I don't even know. I'm hyping myself up and now I want to go do stuff like maybe ride my bike but I feel sick in my tummy because of my unwanted friend so I don't actually feel like moving in fear of becoming nauseous.
So I'm sorry for not posting the last few days, I think you guys should comment some forfeits for me because this was a New Years Resolution and I failed it so if you guys have any safe suggestions I'll try and do them. I think I've missed four days? So I'll do four forfeit challenges and either have them filmed or have photos taken as evidence.
Live long and prosper, godspeed.
Becca.
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