February the Fifteenth 2014.

Waiting Until My Reality Is Better Than My Dreams.  

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.".  

It may seem strange to know that I'm a very 'romantic' person when I've only had about two boyfriends and neither were 'real' relationships.  One was about 3 weeks and even though we had gone to school together we lived in different districts so we didn't see each other the entire time we were dating.  The other was Leprechaun, and that was more like a friendship.  It took us over 250 days to actually kiss- my fault.  This isn't because I don't think other people are attractive, or don't have crushes (not the not kissing thing, the only having had two 'boyfriends' even though I'm 17 years old), it's because I was brought up to find the one  and unlike my fellow peers I don't feel the need to essentially waste time in between now and when I find the one.  If I were to get in a relationship at this point sooner or later my partner would no doubt expect us to take the next step, and I don't want to give away something that belongs to another person.  I know a lot of people say that, but to be honest my parents were both virgins at 40 when they met.  I'm also a person who doesn't like public displays of affection.  Growing up my parents didn't show much affection in front of my brother and I.  It's not that they don't love each other, they are in my opinion, soul mates.  They're made for each other and they compliment one another well.  But they just aren't like that.  I've only seen them being affectionate towards one another in the last few years, but even then it's not kissing, just hand holding and sweet flirting.  

I'm not saying I want what my parents have, but whether I like it or not I am a product of my past and I've come to see signs of affections as special and valuable.  Gifts that are given to someone truly loved that are kept and treasured. 

So I don't know what specifically I'm saying, I just felt like making a post explaining or saying why I don't actually want a boyfriend (even though it is on my new years resolutions list, but honestly that was more of a joke).  I don't want to give away my virginity or my heart and then find the one it would feel like a betrayal if that makes sense.  I don't know how, but I'm positive I'll know the one when the time is right.  As I used to tell people in the street when I was a child, Jesus loves you and God's got a plan for your life.  I know that there is someone out there who was made to be my perfect fit, someone who can fight with me, love me, and who complements me completely.  Not that they compliment me, but complement me.  Make sure you see the difference people. 

I don't even know what I'm saying, I just wanted to clear some thoughts out of my head and these for up the front so enjoy them.  Or don't.  Doesn't much matter to me.  

In other matters earlier I had my earphones in and I thought I heard my name so I yelled "COMING!" but then realized that I might not have been getting summoned, so when I came outside I was so thankful that Mother had actually called me.  But just now I thought I heard my name -earphones still in- and yelled "COMING" and in reply I heard Father yell "I WAS TALKING TO THE CAT NOT YOU" and everything in my house went silent and you could hear Benny Boy laughing downstairs... That was pretty embarrassing.

Okay so I've just had dinner and I'm going to continue pinning stuff on Pinterest.  (Bookworm_Woes).

Ciao.

Live long and prosper. 

Becca.