Note: Facebook Statuses.

"You people really don't appreciate my humour.  It's a shame, I'm the funniest person you'll ever meet. 

Even my face is funny."

"I love these Olympics.  Well what I'm seeing on Tumblr.  They're so gay.  Like Russia says 'No gay propaganda' and the rest of the world is like TASTE THE FUCKING RAINBOW and I just love this."

"Where the hell did Flappy Bird come from?  It just appeared one day and took over everyone's lives."

"Our power just freaking went off and I was like 'Oh it's fine I can still reblog shit and stuff because my laptops charged.' THEN THE WEBPAGE STOPPED LOADING AND I REMEMBERED THAT THE INTERNET IS PART OF THE ELECTRICITY AND NOT JUST A NATURAL PHENOMENON!"

"When mum forces me to get up and get some 'sunshine' so she takes me for the drive to take Benny Boy to work -getting Macca's along the way.  Then when we get home I run to my room, strip of my jeans, put on my fluffy pants and hop back in bed...

I was in the sun for 15 minutes.

Good effort mum."

"Grandma: Where have all your curls gone?

Me: They faded with my hopes and dreams.

Grandma: What?

Me: What?

Mum: Go back to your room and hibernate."

"Two weeks.  I had two weeks to do all my homework.  

Two English Studies essays, two Ancient Civ's essays, and a photography assignment.

Two weeks and all I achieved was a sentence that I deleted because it sounded silly."

"It creeps me out that the voice I hear in my head when I read isn't my own.. Like who's voice it that?  Would I recognize it if I heard it in real life?  Is that the voice of my soul mate?  The voice of the person who will kill me?  God?

I need to stop reading Young Adult Paranormal Fiction...."

"Gonna call one of my future kids Caspian and raise him to be a little sassy shit so I can call him Sassy Cassy.  

This is going to happen.

-Oh and he'd also be a king of Narnia-"

"So I was trying to sleep.. But then I remembered something funny and started laughing hysterically... So I'm back because I woke myself up." 

"I just sit in my bed laughing to myself all day.

There now you know how I've been spending my holidays."

"Hipster is a type of female underwear."

"Whiteboards are remarkable."

"On the TV; a reporter interviewing Stephanie Meyer about 'The Host' and brings up Twilight because it was her first published novel.

Reporter: So how did you come up with the idea for Twilight?

Stephanie: It came to me in a dream.  I saw a man with glittering skin standing in a field.

-Mum comes around the corner after dealing with construction stuff-

Mum: What a nightmare.

I fell on the floor laughing! She didn't understand! She stood there until I could breathe, and I told her and she actually BURST OUT laughing! Her timing is impeccable!"

"That moment when The Amazing Spider-Man is directer by Marc Webb...."

"So I just went downstairs for a glass of water, I was singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song because I thought mum and dad were asleep.. Anyway, so I walked into the Lounge/Office room and froze.  Mum turned to dad ans said 'At least she matured physically...'  I walked back out."

"School isn't a fashion show and your like isn't an after school special."

"I remember before Harry Potter I wondered why they never made a villain who wore a bright colour, like pink, it was always black or dark purple or red.  The I met Umbridge.  That bitch was worse than Voldemort."

I like this next one.. It's from December in 2012.

"High school is nearly over, then we have two years at [insert college name] then we get thrown into the real world.  Meanwhile I'll be dancing the Flutterwakon in Narnia with a bunch of demi-god, fallen angel, and Nephilium friends while waiting for my Luxon best friend to show up so we can go and help the Shadow Hunters fight the demons with the help of the faeries, werewolves, and vampires........ O_O"

"In math today:

Teacher: Now everyone have a giggle.

Teacher: We have to find the square root of 169.

Class: *No laughter*" 

"I'm a comedian. <--- See?  That was funny."

I hope you appreciate the effort I went too to find these statuses through my history on Facebook.  It was so embarrassing! I ranted about the silliest things! I went all the way back to December in 2011.  That was three years ago and probably when I started to be funny.  But one way or another you bitches can all agree I'm the mother fucking bomb!  If not, then you're wrong.  

Love you guys! Sorry for the swearing I'm in a weird mood that I can't explain...