February the Thirteenth 2014.

Conformity.

You've all heard of it, but what does it mean?

According to Google Definition, conformity  is the compliance with standards, rules, or laws.  

According to the Oxford Dictionary it's behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions. 

According to Dictionary.com it is an action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. 

According to Wikipedia it's the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors to group norms. 

According to me conformity is changing oneself to fit into the standard set by society.  Taking away individuality and replacing it with clones. 

Today's society preaches that individuality is important and that we should always be ourselves.  That we should have our own set of morals, our own values, our own sense of humour, our own sense of style, our own sense of who we are and how we act.  Unfortunately, like so many other things, this is a 'in theory' situation.  Everyone has conformed one way or another, we do it out of desire to be accepted.  

When faced with a situation where there is a majority vote for an opinion that you do not share [so you are the minority] you are more likely to agree with the majority publicly even though you disagree privately.  By doing so you can subconsciously end up changing your opinion or stance on the matter to that of the majority.   

Now, to give a visual idea of conformity, lets look at 'hipsters'.  [Please no one take any of the following as offensive.  I'm merely making a statement on my own personal views for this topic] They all wear short, ripped, shorts, that usually end up giving everyone a display of their ass cheeks.  They are all obsessed with triangles for some unknown reason.  They all straighten their hair and grow it out long, and they usually wear revealing shirts, and Vans or canvas shoes.  By doing so they are conforming to a style that is popular, they assume by dressing, acting, and talking the way the other 'cool kids' or 'hipsters' do, that they'll be accepted by the majority.  This happens with more stereotypes than just 'hipsters'.  In my own personal friendship group I've felt the need to change my opinion to match the majority, I've felt the need to like alcohol even though I don't really like it, simply because the majority like it too.  I've even felt the need to conform in class.  

Although conformity isn't a new concept I feel it's very important to bring it up and discuss it because even now the idea of individuality that we have is being changed to fit how others think if individuals.  

When people don't conform they can be seen as loners because of their dissent.  Because they don't agree with the majority they are viewed as wrong, because they don't dress like the majority they're tasteless, because they don't wear make-up or play sports like the majority, they're ugly or weak.  This isn't the case.  I have my own opinions and I have my own reasons for believing they are correct or true.  I wear my pajamas to school, not because I'm tasteless but because I want to feel comfortable [and I'm lazy].  I sometimes don't wear make-up because I don't have the time, in fact the only reason I usually wear make-up is because I find joy in applying it.  I don't participate in sports, not because I'm weak, but because I prefer to exercise my brain rather than my body.  

From my own experience I feel I'm very lucky to attend a school where there is very little pressure to conform.  Despite the few times I have conformed to suit the majority I feel I've since learned that maybe the minority might have it right.  As much as I view conformity as something wrong, it's what made us the way we are now.  The characters we saw in cartoons, the people in the books we read, our teachers and what they taught us, we've conformed to accept what they've shown us about life.  But there are also aspects of those which we've since learned to ignore, or to not accept as our own.  As a female I feel the influence of Disney movies for me to aspire to find my 'Prince Charming', I feel the influence from characters in my novels to braver, I feel the influence of my teachers and what they taught me about politics, furthermore I feel the influence of all medias to always look pretty, to be skinny or healthy, to have a healthy social life, and to lose my virginity.  I feel these influences and honestly now, as an adult [well almost] I've come to accept that these influences are wrong in regards to my own values and beliefs, and that I shouldn't accept them.  

I'm not saying that if you dress the same way as your friends, or talk the same way that you're wrong and that you shouldn't be conforming.  I'm simply saying that instead of aspiring to look like your 'friend's' and acting in a way that you feel will gain their approval, you should be yourself.  Completely and entirely.  You should wear whatever you feel comfortable in, not a pair of $60 ripped shorts that barely cover anything, not a layers of make up to cover up every imperfection, not a whole jar of gel or hair spray to keep your hair spiky for a few hours, no you should wear what you feel comfortable in.  You want to wear high heels because they make you feel like a goddess?  Then do it.  You want to wear legging because your ass looks great and then go ahead, you want to wear your pants halfway down your legs because you have cool underwear, go ahead.  But do it because you want to, because it makes you feel comfortable, or sexy.  If you disagree with what they are saying, don't not speak up.  Have your say, make your opinion know.  If your friends are bullying someone, don't join in just because they are, speak up.  When we leave school they'll be a whole new range of influences and situations where we'll choose to conform or to not conform with the majority or minority.  Those choices will be harder, no doubt, and probably in the end more life altering than the ones we experience in high school.  But ultimately what I'm saying is to make you own choices.  Election time coming along?  Everyone voting for person A because of this, this, and this?  But you don't agree with some of what they're saying, you think person B is right, that they're morals and values are better?  But you're going to vote for person A, right?  Because that's what everyone else thinks is right?  So shouldn't you? No.  You are entitled to your own opinion, it is not required that you conform to the way others think just to be accepted.  

I have no idea what's I've said, I tried to make a point, I'm not sure if I made it, I said a lot of stuff and I have some opinions on this topic from other people as well.  I'm sorry if I somehow offended anyone with this, I'm simply saying my opinion, you by no means have to agree with anything or everything I've said.  This is my blog, and I am free to say what I like.  As you all know I don't tend to read over my work, so if anything didn't make sense my apologies.  

I also asked Facebook, Tumblr, and my parents about their thoughts on Conformity in today's society and today's youth [and in my parents case conformity they experienced in their society as children].  Here are the responses. There aren't many because no matter what I say I'm not actually that popular.

"Well, to me, people do it [conform] because they want to fit in, to do what everyone else is doing, or wearing, because they want to be accepted.  But no one needs to dress or act like something they aren't to fit it.  It's always good to be around people who like what you like, but that doesn't mean you can't be or act how you want... Although, in a way, being non-conforming could be seen as conforming, because a lot of people are doing that, now, I guess."

-Facebook.

"Conformity.... well in my youthful years (the 1970’s) that was pretty much a dirty word.  As a matter of fact, non-conformity could have been the mantra of my generation.  So much so that those who were trying not to conform with ‘the establishment’, actually ended up creating a standard that the youth felt compelled or obliged to conform with.  So it happened that in observing this trend, I chose not to conform with the non-conformists but also held firm to challenging ‘the norm’ as I saw it.  It was a time of great thought and introspection, probably too much.  Anyway,  I endeavoured to set my own pace and path in life.  The need for self-expression in part did portray itself in the adoption of  ‘hippie’ attire.  Externally and at first glance I wore the clothing of other ‘non-conformists’.  However my bohemian-hippie dress-code was never grotty.  In my stand against conforming with ‘the great unwashed’, I washed, ironed and sprayed starch on my ‘Indian skirts, shirts and wrap-around trousers.   Wrap your little modern mind mind about how they (wrap-pants) worked!  Though the  Peruvian Poncho was just that, it’s favoured use was as a skirt, it made many eyebrows arch on both sides of the debate.  Memories now return that these were the days of the maxi dress and skirt, so nothing is new under the sun.  We wore really short skirts one year then rebelled against the fashion.  I can confidently say we were the leaders of fishnet stockings and the maxi (skirt, dress, cardigan, coat).  In winter, I’d wear my flannelette PJs underneath my Indian skirts and maxi dresses (always making sure a little flannelette peeked through).  Of course I’d go nowhere without a shawl.    After the enthusiasm to ‘make a statement’ had passed, practicalities took over and despite how much I still loved my poncho, I had to confess it made my skin itch.   As for the wrap around pants, well depending on which way the wind blew, they’d never stay put.  That was when I started making my own harem pants (well ahead of the fashion trend).  I could say that by the time other’s thought about ‘conforming with my style’, I’d moved on."
-Mother Dearest.


"1) Conformity is driven by Mankind’s intense desire for acceptance. Only those who are very settled and balanced in their own soul can afford to be genuinely non-conformist. However, each generation has different role models to which they aspire to conform and find acceptance among others who likewise aspire to conform to that role model. So it appears that each generation is non-conformist to its predecessor. 2) For me, I had no liking whatsoever for the dreadful ABC music (orchestras, operas, screeching sopranos, tuneless ivory twinkling) my parents insisted on inflicting on the household, so I withdrew to my own space and listed to top-forty rock/pop stations (esp 6KY, which became KY-FM on 96MHz, later 96fm in Perth). Likewise, the short back and sides hair styles spoke of Victorian rigidity and stuffiness. We were having none of that, so became a scruffy, long-haired bunch. I could go on, and on, and on ......"
-Father Dearest 

Live long and prosper, godspeed.

Becca.